Drifty the Snowman

“AAAH! What the fuck is that thing?!” she screamed.

“Me? I’m Drifty the Snowman! The magic of Christmas brought me here to…”

“It tried to kill Caroline!” shouted Danny. “GET IT!”

“No, no no!” protested Drifty. “It was an accident!” One of his golf club arms flew up into the air as he flung them wide in a gesture of surrender, and landed at the minivan driver’s feet.

“Trying to finish the job, eh?” he shouted, pocketing his cell phone and picking up the club.

“No, no, I–”

“KILL IT! KILL IT!” cried Danny, terrified. The man swung the club at snowy abomination, knocking off his other arm.

“Wait, wait, wait!” yelled Drifty. “My goodness–this is just a horrible misunderstanding!”

Just then Caroline came to, saw the armless, hulking snowman, and began shrieking anew.

“MONSTER!” shouted the minivan driver, swinging at the snowman with reckless abandon, and in mere moments it was reduced to a loose pile of snow in the middle of the road. Just as the last of the snowflakes settled down around the hat, tennis balls, and gas can nozzle n ose, an ambulance and fire truck arrived at the scene.

“What happened?” asked a friendly paramedic.

“WeMadeASnowmanAndItCameToLifeAndItChasedMeIntoTheStreetAndIGotHitByACar!” shouted Caroline, crying, as her family, the minivan driver, and the firemen all gathered around.

“Hmmm…I’d better check you for head trauma…”

“AAAAAHHHH!” yelled Danny, pointing at the snow pile as it morphed back into a snowman.

“The great outdoors is AWESOME!” shouted Drifty. “Let me help–”

“OH MY GOD,” shouted the paramedic.

“HIS HAT! It’s his hat!” shouted Danny. “We have to destroy it!”


  1. Lito
    Posted December 26, 2010 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    That’s a touchin’ good story.

  2. Tor
    Posted January 10, 2011 at 9:59 am | Permalink

    Very nice…. Do I have to a start a flame war now??

  3. Posted March 24, 2011 at 9:46 am | Permalink

    Truly a holiday story for the ages!

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