12:00:00

What started out as a simple question on Twitter

“There’s a hole in the English language: how to greet people when it’s exactly noon. Good Noon? Hi, Noon? G’Nooner?”

…has blossomed into a gripping intellectual exercise. So we’ve extracted some of the best suggestions from the dozens of @ replies and put them into a poll to settle the matter once and for all (maybe):

[poll id=89]

24 Comments

  1. MitchO
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 3:55 pm | Permalink

    Aw, you’re missing my favorite answer: “Wait one minute and make it irrelevant.”

  2. Tam o'Shanter
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

    I ALMOST voted for “Felicitous Zenith, Lords and Ladies!” but realized I’d never remember to say that, so, “Good Median, sir!” it is.

    Also, does ‘noon’ count as 12:00-12:01, 12:00:00-12:00:01, or 12:00-1:00? I’ve heard people argue all three…

  3. Posted March 25, 2009 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

    I’ve actually used ‘Good Noontide’ before, but ‘Good Middleday’ sounds so hobbitish and awesome. Tough choice!

  4. Posted March 25, 2009 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

    Wow, this is astoundingly deep, chronologically speaking.

    Surely someone has dealt with this issue before? Somewhere, in the annals of history?

    Come on now, Minions, go forth and research (or at least google it a bit, ya know?)!

    (oh, I would too, but I have a day job…and I doubt it will be an easy search…)

  5. Joe 'Covenant' Lamb
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

    Very disappointed my suggestion of “Hi, Noon!” never made it to poll status! (But good to see it in the pre-amble!)

  6. Brian
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 4:27 pm | Permalink

    Yay, one of my suggestions made the poll! Hoody hoo!

  7. Posted March 25, 2009 at 4:36 pm | Permalink

    While I agree with liger about “Good Middleday” sounding hobbitish, I went with the answer I liked just a bit more: “Good Meridian, Sir.”

  8. Posted March 25, 2009 at 5:05 pm | Permalink

    I liked “Bottom of the morning to you.”

    (“Nooner” implies something beyond a mere greeting.)

    @MitchO: That’s effectively the same as the OCD answer.

    @Erin: I pulled out AM and PM when debating the appropriateness of abbreviations in formal writing with one of my high school English teachers. You probably wouldn’t have liked me at that age. ;-)

  9. Posted March 25, 2009 at 5:17 pm | Permalink

    I voted for “Zenith,” of course, but Mrs. Widge says just “Good Day” would cover everything without having to worry about it. But she’s just so maddeningly practical like that.

  10. Posted March 25, 2009 at 6:33 pm | Permalink

    Ooo… I’d've voted for Mark Gordon’s “Bottom of the morning to you”.

  11. Posted March 25, 2009 at 7:02 pm | Permalink

    @Mark: I’m glad I’m not the only one who had that thought re: nooner. And, your arguing wouldn’t bother me; I’d be more excited to see any kind of critical thinking. Then again, my more pedantic colleagues would cringe if they saw some of the things I let my kids get away with when it comes to grammar…

  12. Posted March 25, 2009 at 7:14 pm | Permalink

    @Brian Hoody Hoo? Looks like someone reads Knights of the Dinner Table.

    I have to admit, Bottom of the Morning sounds really clever and I would have voted for that.

  13. Ryan
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 7:23 pm | Permalink

    This factors into my want to use noon and midnight as part of time telling.

    “What’s the time?”

    “’bout noon thirty.”

  14. Posted March 25, 2009 at 7:31 pm | Permalink

    I agree with Mark. Molly’s suggestion of “Bottom of the mornin’ to ya” is aces.

  15. Posted March 25, 2009 at 8:00 pm | Permalink

    How about Good day? Do you have to Australian (or khhaustralian for those who saw “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan”) to say that?

  16. Laurence
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 8:55 pm | Permalink

    Whats noon? I only ever see midnight, what about a poll for when it’s exactally midnight?

  17. Rharl
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    I like the g’nooner! but, I think it’s TOO long for the noon moment. I propose a simplified version. How about “NOONER!” I think you can get that out in 1 second.

  18. wrot
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 9:12 pm | Permalink

    “Sup”

  19. Posted March 26, 2009 at 12:08 am | Permalink

    shouting “NOONER!” just seems like it’s announcing lunchtime quickie sex.

  20. Jack F.
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 5:33 am | Permalink

    I’m going with “Good Day!” in memory of the late great Paul Harvey.

  21. Posted March 26, 2009 at 6:41 am | Permalink

    In ye olde times, no one would dare speak at the strike of noon – lest they receive swift and severe punishment including, but not limited to, public kerchiefing (where a crowd of people blow their nose into their handkerchiefs and throw them at the deviant.)

    I think we could learn much from our ancestors regarding noon behavior. Anyone caught talking for that minute should be locked in a room with an unreachable table of cupcakes and forced to watch The View, or something.

  22. Fnord
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 8:53 am | Permalink

    I always just say “Good Morning”, no matter the time of day or night.

    It’s always fun to say “Good Morning” to someone at 6pm, have them automatically say “Good Morning” back to you, and then look confused and slightly scared.

  23. Tam o'Shanter
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 12:08 pm | Permalink

    Minion Task accomplished! Used “Good Median, sir” with a telemarketer who called me.

  24. Robin
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 12:38 pm | Permalink

    I like the sound of “Good Middleday” for formal situations, but “G’Nooner” has far greater comedy potential. :D

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