The Ballad of the Sneak

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I know a lively fellow
Who is really quite unique
He’s small and smart and yellow
With a rodent-like physique

He doesn’t play the cello
And he never deigns to speak
He’s The Strong Bad’s Leporello
And they just call him The Sneak

If you’ve got a caper
Then you know who to call
It’s The Sneak!
It’s The Sneak!
Who’s that dapper swindler
Out of Tammany Hall?
It’s The Sneak!

That charming little whatzit
Who’s The Strong Man’s greatest pal?
It’s The Sneak!
It’s The Sneak!
Who did the Hully Gully
On the Panama Canal?
It’s The Sneak!

Who’s that jaunty jackanapes
With moxie and pizzazz?
It’s The Sneak! (Yes, sir!)
It’s The Sneak!
Who’s been drinking bootleg hooch
And listening to the jazz?
It’s The Sneak!

Who captures all the flapper girls’ affections?
Who made off with my Fluffy Puff confections?
He’s dastardly!
He loves catastrophe!
His schemes are masterly!
Takes tea at half past three!
That sneaky sneaker’s sneakin’ all over town!

Who dropped The Homestar Runner
From his flying machine? (Humdinger!)
Is it The Sneak? (28 skiddoo!)
It’s The Sneak!
Who put a Bengal tiger
In The Kaiser’s latrine? (Ach du Lieber!)
It’s The Sneak! (What’s the rumpus?)
You know it’s The Sneak! (Take it home!)
The Sneakity Sneak all day long!