Screwing with My Fans


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Dear Mr. Tor
There must be more
More “Shadow War” for my adoring fans to read

It’s not enough
To be a tough
And super-buff and sexy writer; a man has still got needs

Oh, but John
Can’t we move on?
Shadow War was fun, but lightning don’t strike twice

Listen to me:
Don’t you agree
That two or three Old Man’s War sequels might be kinda nice

Johnny Tor, you shut your hole
One more bestseller’s not my goal
Are you so stupid that I have to spell it out?

All those dumb and pliant people
Follow me around like sheep’ll
Do you understand what this whole thing’s about?

It’s about screwing with my fans
Can’t you understand
It’s not about the money, fame, and drugs and swimming pools (I have four!)

I’m screwing my fans
And my will is your command
So a manga will be this year’s April Fools’