My Fantastic Plastic Girl

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My Fantastic Plastic GirlI haven’t slept at all
Since I saw you at the mall
With just one steely glance I was seduced
Now the girl that I adore
Stands on Macy’s 2nd floor
Inbetween petites and women’s shoes

On your tiny platform stage
With your skin of Band-Aid beige
You silently inhabit my whole world
In the same pose every day
You have stole my heart away
You’re my fantastic plastic girl

Your lovely arms and legs
All attached by metal pegs
Their loose embrace just me love you even more so
We would be the perfect match
If I could just get you detached
From the steel support rod bolted to your torso

My little darlin’
I know we’ll rise above
Those who would condemn our love
Resisting all their efforts to examine it
Ah, but if they only knew
The loving heart that beats in you
(Notwithstanding that you are inanimate)

I’d swim the Atlantic and roam the seas
To bring my mannequin home to me
And until you snap in half, you’ll rock my world
I’ll never tire of your beauty
Or your smokin’ hot fiberglass booty
You’re my fantastic plastic girl

You could be a bit more sex-able
If you were just a bit more flexible
You’re my fantastic plastic girl

Your worth as a mate is debatable
But at least you’re not inflatable
You’re my fantastic plastic girl


In October 2006, Ronald Dotson, a Detroit, MI man with an acknowledged sexual fetish for female-shaped mannequins, was given 18 months to 30 years in prison for breaking into a storefront window and stealing a mannequin in a French maid outfit. His arrest came less than a week after being paroled for his sixth breaking-and-entering conviction in 13 years. Several of his previous offences were mannequin-related; he was once caught in an alley behind a women’s clothing store with three mannequins dressed in lingerie. Full story