Lame Monster Party

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I threw a monster party last Halloween night
And invited all the monsters for a fun October fright
All the famous monsters would be making the scene
I figured that my bash would be the year’s biggest scream

I put out lots of Chex Mix and some rice Krispie treats
The skeleton band was kicking out some spooky beats
I headed to the dance floor, ready to get down
But all the monsters just were sort of standing around

It was a lame monster party
It was a lame monster party
The monsters were boring, and the party really sucked
And nobody had any fun

Nobody was boogie-ing or acting very scary
The zombies kind of roamed around, texting on Blackberries
Frankenstein showed pictures from his recent trip to Branson
Wolfman argued macroeconomics with Charlie Manson

When Jason wasn’t droning on about Scientology
He talked in painful detail about his vasectomy
But Freddy Kreuger took the prize for testing our endurance
Trying to convince the ghosts they needed life insurance


Damien wouldn’t budge as he played his GameBoy
The Mummy was doing sudoku
Dr. Jekyll went and ate up all of the brownies
And Dracula kept checking his MySpace account

Leatherface, who showed up drunk, kept hitting on the witches
And cornered everybody with his Amway sales pitches
The Creature from the Black Lagoon was out in the yard
Debating with Godzilla about Kirk and Picard

Finally, I knew that it was time to call it quits
When Chucky started reenacting Monty Python skits
I learned my lesson—you can bet I won’t do that again
Next Halloween: just me and Igor, down at Bennigan’s