Belated Oscar Gripe (and gripelets)
Okay, the Oscars may have been several days ago, but we have a bone to pick. Actually, there are several little bones we take issue with, but most of all it's this one big bone* -- a peeve that's grown from a pet into a pit bull in just four days.
We didn't mind that the Hollywood nabobs couldn't put their egos on a leash for just three minutes at a time during the ceremonies, which would have been long enough for them to realize how friggin' spot-on funny Jon Stewart was**. But that wasn't unexpected, what with the Academy Awards being the film industry's big annual orgy to its own self-importance***.
And to be fair, it was a pleasant surprise to witness the return of horrible, overwrought, and artsy dance production numbers. Because who in America doesn't yearn for the golden age of the Hollywood musical?
No, the major malfunction was the annual tribute montage honoring the film industry greats who passed away during the previous year. We take no issue with the tribute itself. It was actually one of the night's more genuine moments. The problem was a couple of omissions -- one in particular.
No Don Knotts.
Sure, they'd probably completed the edited sequence before the man died. But after a career like his, the least they could have done was slip in a two-second frame from The Apple Dumpling Gang, or even The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again. Did they snub him because he owed most of his fame to the small screen? It didn't matter to Scooby Doo, who was happy to solve mysteries alongside him, just like he did with other greats like Vincent Price, Abbott & Costello, and Mama Cass Elliot. And I'm sure they wouldn't have left them out of an obituary montage****. Was it because he was mostly loved by children? That may be, but I doubt they'll leave Roman Polanski out of their little montage when he kicks off.
So where's the love for Barney Fife? How about a moment of silence for Mr. Furley? I know they all saw Pleasantville, which also featured a certain gal who took home a golden homoerotic paperweight on Oscar night -- Reese Witherspoon.
Unjust. Unfair. And just plain wrong. If Reese had known ahead of time that the Academy would be rudely kicking Mr. Knotts to the curb, I'm certain she would have declined the "honor" of Best Actress******.
And don't even get us started about Darren McGavin. All in all, it adds up to a gigantic "shame on you" to Hollywood. And if they make it to heaven, I pity them if they need help from the sheriff's office.
Respectfully,
Paul and Storm
*that didn't come out right.
**and we're not just saying that because we want to be part of the Daily Show writing staff.
***and how self-important was THAT statement?
****except for maybe Mama Cass*****. She was certainly great, but not an actress.
*****contrary to popular myth, she did not die after choking on a ham sandwich. That's just well-intentioned but misguided ironic pathos.
******maybe not, but she would have at least done that unbearably cute lippy-pouty thing.
Okay, the Oscars may have been several days ago, but we have a bone to pick. Actually, there are several little bones we take issue with, but most of all it's this one big bone* -- a peeve that's grown from a pet into a pit bull in just four days.
We didn't mind that the Hollywood nabobs couldn't put their egos on a leash for just three minutes at a time during the ceremonies, which would have been long enough for them to realize how friggin' spot-on funny Jon Stewart was**. But that wasn't unexpected, what with the Academy Awards being the film industry's big annual orgy to its own self-importance***.
And to be fair, it was a pleasant surprise to witness the return of horrible, overwrought, and artsy dance production numbers. Because who in America doesn't yearn for the golden age of the Hollywood musical?
No, the major malfunction was the annual tribute montage honoring the film industry greats who passed away during the previous year. We take no issue with the tribute itself. It was actually one of the night's more genuine moments. The problem was a couple of omissions -- one in particular.
No Don Knotts.
Sure, they'd probably completed the edited sequence before the man died. But after a career like his, the least they could have done was slip in a two-second frame from The Apple Dumpling Gang, or even The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again. Did they snub him because he owed most of his fame to the small screen? It didn't matter to Scooby Doo, who was happy to solve mysteries alongside him, just like he did with other greats like Vincent Price, Abbott & Costello, and Mama Cass Elliot. And I'm sure they wouldn't have left them out of an obituary montage****. Was it because he was mostly loved by children? That may be, but I doubt they'll leave Roman Polanski out of their little montage when he kicks off.
So where's the love for Barney Fife? How about a moment of silence for Mr. Furley? I know they all saw Pleasantville, which also featured a certain gal who took home a golden homoerotic paperweight on Oscar night -- Reese Witherspoon.
Unjust. Unfair. And just plain wrong. If Reese had known ahead of time that the Academy would be rudely kicking Mr. Knotts to the curb, I'm certain she would have declined the "honor" of Best Actress******.
And don't even get us started about Darren McGavin. All in all, it adds up to a gigantic "shame on you" to Hollywood. And if they make it to heaven, I pity them if they need help from the sheriff's office.
Respectfully,
Paul and Storm
*that didn't come out right.
**and we're not just saying that because we want to be part of the Daily Show writing staff.
***and how self-important was THAT statement?
****except for maybe Mama Cass*****. She was certainly great, but not an actress.
*****contrary to popular myth, she did not die after choking on a ham sandwich. That's just well-intentioned but misguided ironic pathos.
******maybe not, but she would have at least done that unbearably cute lippy-pouty thing.
3 Comments:
Actually I think the Academy has a specific cut-off date for including people in their In Memoriam segment. Don Knotts died after that cut-off date. Theoretically, he'll be included in next year's segment.
what a smart ass! Are you guys going to take that from some Web Surfer?
Even if the Academy does have their little cut-off date, it's our opinion that they should have made an exception their policy, given Mr. Knott's impact on American culture.
But we do welcome smart asses of every stripe, even if they're just passing through.
P&S
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