Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Trip Report: Midwest Tour - Part II
(September 21-24, 2005)


9/21/05 - Bob and Tom again; Champaign/Urbana, IL

We arrived at the B&T studios promptly at 6:30 a.m. and went over Pat Godwin's song one more time before performing it with him on the air. We're all pretty jazzed, because we think the song's pretty funny, and the novelty of us performing on-air with Pat is, we hope, an added bonus. So in we go...

Now is the time to discuss the subject of "eating it" in front of about 5 million listeners. Okay, maybe not "eating it," but at least "getting a disappointing response to a song"...In hindsight, it seems that the deck was stacked against us: we were kinda overconfident going in, and the mood in the studio was a little funky, both on our part and on everyone else's, for whatever reason. (I think we were secretly hoping for a reaction along the lines of "Pat Godwin and Paul & Storm? My word: not since they sliced the bread before serving it has such a wonderful thing come along!") The song itself, called "Paco the Pool Boy", started up, and Pat was singing in a heavy, Antonio-Banderas-ish accent. The whole concept of the song is that the person who has hired Paco wants him to service more than her swimming pool, but Paco resists. At one point, he songs how he will not "cheat on mi amore;" but in the heavy accent, it came out "chit on mi amore." If you pronounce it out loud, you can see where the problem arose. The apparent curse word threw everyone off, and they more or less shut down for the rest of the song. (Side note: people who have heard the Bob & Tom show know that the hosts all enjoy laughing along with live songs; many people find this practice annoying and/or fake. Regardless of how genuine the laughs are--and I can attest that the vast majority are quite genuine--they serve two purposes: they help keep other radio shows from stealing stuff that airs on Bob & Tom, and they help "lighten" the overall vibe. Try to tell a joke in an empty room, and you'll know what we're talking about.)

So the song went over much like a big ol' turd, which wasn't very fun; especially because we thought (and still think) that it was really funny, and later in the week, a few people came up to us after shows and specifically mentioned that they enjoyed it. It was a bit strange, because it wasn't "our" song, really; we were just there as backup singers, and didn't have nearly as much invested in it as Pat did. So we were able to watch it all from a distance, as it were. But it was uncomfortable getting so few laughs, and rather awkward; it felt kind of like being called on in school to give an answer you don't know, and the teacher knows you don't know it, but won't let you off the hook and keeps you twisting in the wind.

So anyway, the segment ended, and we excused ourselves to go post-mortem in the green room with comedian Tim Cavanagh (who was also on the show that morning, and who is as nice a guy as you would care to meet, especially in comedy). Eventually, there was general agreement that "sometimes that just happens," we cursed the fickle comedy gods, and moved on. Mark my words: one day, we will perform the song live with Pat somewhere, and it's going to crush.

Back to hotel, shower, check out, and off to the comfort of...


FOOD REVIEW: Mug n' Bun - Indianapolis, IN
CATEGORY: Burgers & Shakes (drive-in)
RATING: +1

When most people think of Indianapolis, they think of the Indy 500, which is understandable. Paul and Storm, however*, think of Mug n' Bun. No matter the weather, we never fail to visit this throwback drive-in, which is technically in the town of Speedway, just down the street from ye olde Brickyard. Often, it's our first stop when arriving in town. Why? Let us count the ways...

1. Fresh-made root beer. The real deal. It can taste a little different from batch to batch, but it's always great. Ask for it in one of their stocky glass mugs and you'll be treated to a taste that you thought had long been lost to the march of manufacturing progress. You can taste hints of honey and real sugar (not corn syrup), and an absolute elbow-to-the-ribs-worth of molasses. Those are only our guesses as to what's actually in there, but whatever the wacky ingredients are, it all balances nicely. Definitely a Rube Goldberg beverage.

2. Pork tenderloin sandwiches. Fried or grilled and sized like a frisbee (a frisbee-golf frisbee, not the regular kind...), these seem to be a specialty in this part of the Midwest. Kind of like a country fried (chicken fried) steak, but with less poultry and more pork. Served on a kaiser-type roll, half of the meat hangs out over the edges, making it look like a tasty, tasty UFO. By default it doesn't come with any condiments, but you can have them put just about anything on it and they won't look at you funny. Lettuce, onion, tomato, ketchup (cat-sup), relish, horseradish, gravel, whatever. The fried version is much more filling.

3. A carnival variety of appetizers and other menu options. Paul is not so much into the tenderloin, but has had a grand time exploring their extensive menu. Imagine every food item you've ever seen at an amusement park midway or at the beach (except for Dippin' Dots -- the Ice Cream of the Future**), and you get the picture . Burgers, Coney dogs, fries, onion rings, and the like are all prime specimens of their respective categories. Of particular note this time around were macaroni and cheese wedges. That's right -- golden-fried triangles of mac'n'cheese, crisp on the outside, creamy and delicious within.

4. Thick shakes. Hand-dipped, and the flavors really pop. This place understands what a vanilla shake (or malt) should be, and also offers a few flavors for the more adventurous. Most special-ful is the butterscotch shake, which has a taste straight from grandma's candy dish.

5. It's a gen-u-ine drive-in! If you choose to eat in your car (we never do), they give you those little trays that attach to your door. Or, you can take advantage of their picnic tables, which are heated by overhead burners in the winter. Servers are generally friendly, and there's a little button on the table that you push to call your waitress (never a waiter) over when you want to order your third shake. Cash only, to be paid as the food is delivered, but it won't burn a hole in your pocket.


Wholly uneventful drive to Urbana, check in to new hotel, and it's time to load-in and sound check at the Canopy Club. Turnout is light as expected, but spirited. We were blown away by a chorus of "ARRRRRRRGH!" after asking the audience if they were aware that Monday had been "Talk Like a Pirate Day." Crowd especially digs the new material, which is very encouraging. We had a "hard stop" time, as another band was coming in after us, but that was fine, since we were getting hungry anyway...


FOOD REVIEW: Basil Thai @ Urbana - Urbana, IL
CATEGORY: Thai
RATING: +1
This was a real gem. The only thing keeping it from being +2 was that it had that college-town, utilitarian, spread-out-your-textbooks-on-the-table to study-while-you-eat vibe to it. Still, it was clean and bright, with spartan but tasteful decor. The food, though, was as good as you'd find at any Thai restaurant anywhere (excepting, maybe, Thailand). Tom kha gai soup was well-balanced, and the green curry, ka praow beef, and pad thai were all spot-on. And they didn't pull their punches on the spices, either. The ka praow was smothered in hot green chili peppers, and even the pad thai had a nice little undertone of heat (we'd told them at the counter that we liked it HOT.) Since it was an order-at-the counter place, there wasn't much to be done as far a service went, but the staff was perky and helpful, even though it was nearly closing time.


9/22/05 - Madison, WI

Slept in. Again. Storm got up a little earlier and spent the morning over coffee and newspapers, while Paul spent some quality time with the cable TV. (Hunger inevitably set in, and we decided to act on a tip from one of the folks who responded to our blog request. I believe it was from a friend of Lena's, and both of them deserve some kind of badge...


FOOD REVIEW: Dos Reales - Champaign, IL
CATEGORY: Mexican
RATING: +2

This joint was just around the corner from our hotel, and it delivered on all counts. We had a good feeling about it from the start, when we walked up and saw that they'd painted the head chef's name on the front door. Service was lightning-fast. We were seated the second we walked though the door, a friendly waiter immediately took our drink order, and the food arrived shortly after we'd put our napkins into our laps. But it didn't feel like we were being rushed -- they were just ON IT. Our sodas seemed to magically refill themselves as we ate. And the food, you ask? Just what we needed. Chips were fresh and hot, and were served with two distinct salsas. One was a more tradtional chunky salsa, while the other was a blended chipotle-style. Both were delicious. We made the mistake of ordering an appetizer in addition to our entrees, because the amount of queso fundido we received as a starter was enough to strangle a team of oxen. Not that it wasn't tasty -- it was. Liberally dosed with a coating of spicy chorizo, the white cheese was silky on the tongue. There was a slight taste of cloves to it, I think from the sausage.

Paul's lunch portion of beef fajita looked like a dinner portion for two, and was appealing to both the eye and mouth. Bright red, green, and yellow peppers mingled with bite-sized strips of beef, with slivers of onion acting as arbitrators. [side note -- this seems to be how fajitas are served in the Midwest, as opposed to most restaurants back home where they're often served as a sliced slab of meat accompanied by fresh grilled vegetables. Not better or worse -- just different.] Storm's chimichanga was less Herculean, but was still a fit lunch -- a tight crispy-fried cylinder jam-packed with ropey strands of savory beef. And on the side, the refried beans weren't just an afterthought.


The lunch keeps us fueled for the drive to Madison. No real dinner, except for sodas and chocolate brought by our intrepid promoter, Tag. For grins, we request Toblerone is in our rider, which isn't readily available in Madison. Instead, Tag brought along some very fine dark chocolate with cherries and almonds (Rating +2 for the effort), in addition to root beers and black cherry sodas. Shared the booty and spent some quality time with Dr. Demento favorite The Great Luke Ski, who came by to check out the show.

Madison was always one of DVN's best markets away from home, if not THE best market, and it's shaping up the same way for us. The venue, Cafe Montmartre, is a cool, artsy kind of space, and the people that work there are just as hip as the decor. Our sound man, John, was on top of things the whole night (if he rolled up a fattie, we didn't see it), and the opening act, a singer/songwriter named Amy Curl, was as engaging as she was talented. The crowd that came was the largest and rowdiest of the whole trip, and it was just what we needed. And, of course, they were all about the pirate talk. We decided for the first time to close with our new song "Better Version of You", which worked out really well. To finish out the night, we gave them a real Randy Newman song ("Short People") as well as the good ol' enormous song. Left the club absolutely glowing, wrists aching happily from signing CDs and t-shirts. Hit State Street for a bite, and were turned away from an ice cream parlor whose name we won't bother mentioning. Caught a quick snack at Qdoba, because that's what was open (Rating +1 - Mexican (fast food) (late nite)).


9/23/05 - Milwaukee, WI

Slept in yet again. Did nothing of consequence except work on the blog until lunch time...


FOOD REVIEW: Chipotle - Madison, WI
CATEGORY: Fast Food, Mexican
RATING: +1
What can we say; Chipotle is both our strength and achilles heel. The one in Madison is a particular favorite, in part because it's parked on State Street, one of the best places in the world to hang out and people-watch. Paul had his usual steak burrito (no beans), while Storm opted for barbacoa beef served as soft tacos. Chips, hot salsa, and guacamole (for Storm) on the side. Mr. Pibbs all around. Having cleaned our plates, we decided that we deserved dessert...


FOOD REVIEW: Cold Stone Creamery - State Street, Madison, WI
CATEGORY: Ice Cream
RATING: +1
Normally we'd have gone to the local ice cream parlor across the street, but they pissed us off the night before. Granted, it was 11:33 when we got there and they close at 11:30, but dammit, if you let someone into your store, you sure as hell better serve them tasty ice cream! Paul stood there at the counter while a cone was handed to another patron, only to have the employee turn to him with fiery red eyes, horns upon her head, and a barbed tail, telling him they were closed. If we hadn't just had an awesome gig, he'd have totally trashed the place. Well, okay, maybe not. But he would have made a snide, sarcastic, and/or biting comment. As it was, he just left the store disappointed. But we showed THEM! The next day, instead of feasting on their stupid, local, probably-poisonous and totally not worth the price ice creams, we went to our favorite ice cream chain, Cold Stone, instead. And of course they delivered. Storm had their German chocolate cake concoction, while Paul had french vanilla with Heath Bars. We proceeded outside with our delicious treats and ate them in front of the other ice cream place. That showed 'em! The only disappointment was that the Coldstone employees didn't sing a little song after we tipped them, but I suppose State Street is too hip for that. HOWEVER, they did inform us that their famous cake batter ice cream should be reappearing within weeks, which will make Paul very happy, indeed.


Dinner just wan't necessary, except for a couple of sodas, the rest of Tag's chocolate, and a few packs of Smarties (US, not Canadian). The show that evening at Shank Hall was the real surprise of the trip. The owner, Peter, is what we call a "Cool-Ever Dude"***, and his venue reflects that. Named for a fictional Milwaukee venue in This Is Spinal Tap, it's set up to be a first-class music joint. The sound is great, the stage is generous, and the atmosphere easy. Plus, it even has its own 12" Stonehenge monument, which is super-awesome.

Although we didn't draw as many people as we did in Madison, we had more than we expected (we'd never even set foot in Milwaukee before), and everyone was there to have a good time. We forgot that we were in the Miller Brewing Company's home town, and our line in "Opening Band" regarding Miller Lite was met with a chilly reception. After the show, a very nice woman and her party explained our oversight, and it so happened that she worked at Miller's corporate HQ. Oops! It worked out just fine -- she brought two Miller Lite longnecks to prove that it was a quality product, and after Storm downed them (what a good sport!), we had to agree. Of course, the Miller Lite in the song is "on tap", and it's not really us bad-mouthing that fine potable, it's the fictitious "Opening Band." (No, she didn't buy those lame excuses, either.) Some other folks invited us to come watch some kickball matches (yes, there really are adult kickball leagues. But only, apparently, in Milwaukee and DC. And, yes, the rivalry between the two communities is INTENSE), but we had to get to sleep, knowing that the next day was going to be a doozy.


9/24/05 - Chicago, IL/No Sleep/Trip Home

Slept in (notice the pattern?) until...


FOOD REVIEW: The Safe House
CATEGORY: American (novelty)
RATING: +1


We were first told about this place by a good friend of ours, John Chaneski, who is one of those people who seems to know fun, quirky things about every corner of the globe. And what's more fun and quirky than Milwaukee? John's recommendation would have been enough, but it was also corroborated by several fans. In brief, the Safe House is a spy-themed restaurant. But unlike so many gimmicky places that just put a bunch of memorabilia on the walls, this place was cloak-and-daggar through and through. It's a challenge to even FIND the place (we didn't locate the front door on the first try), and there's a fun little puzzle you have to solve to reach the hostess (we won't give the secret away, because it would spoil the fun.) There's even a secret exit to the place, which is well worth using if you can find it. Your server will tell you where it is if you ask, but we decided to find it on our own (we overheard another table asking, and then plugged our ears) And just like the entrance, merely finding it isn't enough (we won't give away that trick, either!) There were a number of other fun suprises, too, and everyone dining there was drifting around the labyrinthine restaurant discovering them. And, of course, there were all kinds of spy memorabilia on the walls, ceilings, and floors, from real life and the movies.

They also had food. Good food. The eggroll-style cheese sticks were tasty, though the dipping sauce was little more than diluted tomato paste. Artichoke dip was serviceable, though the little garlic-toasted bread wedges they came with were exceptionally delish. We both had burgers -- Paul a convential offering, and Storm a dooded-up burger au poivre (that's a pepper burger, for those of you who don't speak Spanish.) Both were cooked properly to order, and served on bread that made a positive impact (Paul's on a conventinal bun, Storm's on a schmancy foccacia bread.) Portions were large, and we would have been better off ordering only one app.

Service was okie-dokey. It was Saturday morning, and you could tell that most of the staff was hung over. Still, our waitress managed to cobble together a smile for us when she chose to make an appearance at our table (to be fair, we were drifting aimlessly around the place half the time, and it can't be easy for a server when your diners are thus dispersed. They need some kind of GPS tracking system, I think.) I'm sure they draw straws to see who will get the Tourist Shift, and this crew was clearly down on their luck. Another minor complaint in that you only get one free soda refill (Paul can go through as many as 12 sodas at a single sitting.) Still and all, it was fun and unique, and the food was good if not great. We're not nightclub people, but this was one place we'd like to see at full tilt on a Saturday night (it converts into a hot spot after 8 p.m.)


Dinner was not necessary, though we did have shakes from Baskin Robbins to tide us over (Rating: a respectable 0).

Our last stop on the tour was at the First Street Playhouse in Batavia, IL. We originally had a different venue scheduled for Chicago proper for Saturday night, but as these things are sometimes wont to do, that gig fell through. Lucky for us, local thespian Paul and Storm fan, and "Cool Ever Dude" Tom Walker came to the rescue; long story short, we put together a late-night show, which took place after the theater's production of Return to the Forbidden Planet, a thoroughly wacky and enjoyable retelling of The Tempest by way of Forbidden Planet and a bunch of rock & roll.

As such, we got to perform in and around the set--a series of ramps and platforms, covered in glitter, metal and flashing lights. The theater itself had the added attraction of having couches and comfy chairs instead of seats--a nice touch, we thought. The above elements set the tone for what ended up being a relatively informal and somewhat-more-wacky-than-usual set, and we never even dipped into the several thousand costumes stored in the attached costume shop. Again, the crowd, while not huge, was enthusiastic and responsive; it was a great way to end a long week of performances. And thanks again, Tom, for suggesting it.

Storm's flight home boarded at 5:30 a.m., so we didn't bother with a hotel. Instead, Storm spend an hour or two hanging out with Tom and the Gang at Steak n' Shake (Rating: 0 -- just a little snack) while Paul slept in the van. After dropping off Storm, Paul had about three hours to kill before his flight, so he pulled into a Sheraton parking lot and caught a few more winks in the rental van (because no IHOP was handy).

The only remaining item of note is that Paul suffered a chink in his travel armor, thanks to the folks at United Airlines at Chicago/O'Hare having their act together. When you travel by airplane these days, you are charged extra for luggage that is overweight (usually over 50 lbs.) or oversize (usually over 60 linear inches or so). When one of your bags is a full-size keyboard, it usually means you're screwed. But Paul discovered that, at many airports, if you use the curbside check-in, they often don't bother with these charges. (It helps if you tip the skycap early and well) This plan has worked flawlessly for over a year; but it all came tumbling down at O'Hare, where not only did they flag the keyboard for being both oversize and overweight (a $100 added expense), but there was also a $2/bag fee to use curbside check-in to start with (which doesn't go to the skycaps, though most people probably don't realize that, and they probably get undertipped as a result). Now, we can't get overly pissed at people who are merely enforcing the rules we agreed to when we purchased our tickets; nonetheless, it was pretty vexing to get snagged on our perfectly serviceable end-run around the rules, and not what a sleep-deprived traveler wants to hear; and it put a crimp in Paul's usual pleasant, cherub-like demeanor.


Well, that about covers that. See you in the next report, everyone!

Paul and Storm.


* it's horrible when people speak of themselves in the third person, and we promise not to make a habit of it.

** Dippin' Dots are okay, but frankly, their whole "Ice Cream of the Future" jive is complete bulls---. Clearly, they're here now, but the whole "...of the future" thing is just laughable -- HA! Maybe if we still had a 1950's-60's Space Age collective imagination it would fly. It's like the Dippin' Dots people want us to imagine ourselves as pre-latter-day George Jetsons, whirring about in our collapsible hovercars, grousing about our robot maid, and relieving our techno-stress by letting little specks of freeze-dried ice cream adhere and then dissolve upon our socially-advanced tongues.

*** "Cool-Ever Dude" was first coined by Bernie in the DVN days. We were in the van, and as we sang along to "Life in the Fast Lane" by The Eagles, we noticed some interesting word choices coming out of his mouth. In the first verse, there's the line "He had a nasty reputation as a cru-el dude" which is commonly misheard/misinterperated. In Bernie's case, the man in the song had a nasty reputation as a "cool-ever dude." We decided we liked that lyric better, and have been using it to describe especially cool people ever since.

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Amy (the friend) and I are both very happy that you enjoyed Dos Reales. :)

~Lena

1:14 AM  

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