Cruel, Cruel Moon

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Cruel, cruel moon
Please don’t come out tonight
‘Cause when you do
My Emily Lou
And me are gonna have a fight

They say the full moon’s meant for lovers
But you’re gonna break my heart
‘Cause when you shine
That baby of mine
Will turn into a werewolf
And rip out my throat and kill me

Four weeks ago me and Emily Lou
We were on a Northern England tour
Late one night
Against advice
We went a’ walkin’ on the moors

She thought she saw a doggy
Underneath the full moon’s light
But when she tried to pet that doggy
It gave her a nasty bite

Didn’t think too much about it
‘Till this morning when I read
There was some kind of monster out last night
And eighteen folks were dead

My baby slept there next to me
With blood caked in her claws
Tattered clothing, guts and entrails
Clenched between her jaws

Cruel, cruel moon
Please don’t come out tonight
‘Cause when you do
My Emily Lou
And me are gonna have a fight

They say the full moon’s meant for lovers
But you’re gonna break my heart
‘Cause when you shine
That baby of mine will
Turn on me and rip my lungs out
And julienne my liver

Every time you think you know someone
That’s when they change again
So Mr. Moon, can you help me out
Of this doggone fix I’m in?

I locked my baby in the basement
And reinforced the door
But when she’s done lycanthropizing
She’s gonna settle up the score

My finger’s on the trigger
Of this gun full of silver bullets
But Mr. Moon, I love my Emily Lou
Too much to pull it

My daylight’s runnin’ out soon
And this door won’t hold for long
One last chance now, Mr. Moon
Won’t you listen to my song?

Cruel, cruel moon
Please don’t come out tonight
‘Cause when you do
My Emily Lou
And me are gonna have a fight

They say the full moon’s meant for lovers
But you’re gonna break my heart
‘Cause when you shine
That baby of mine
Will painfully transform
Just like that guy from An American Werewolf in London
Then she’ll tear my eyeballs from their sockets
Then I won’t see my baby anymore