Have a safe and happy 4th!

Ten-Finger Johnny

(click to download, right-click then “Save As…” or however you do it on your particular machine; you should know how to do this by now!)

To celebrate, and to test our how robust their “cloud hosting” is, we’ve asked a bunch of our popular Twitter friends to have their followers come visit our site all at once at 3 pm (EST). If you’re seeing this post, then we’re still up and running, and hooray for our side.

If not, then some servers in DFW somewhere are smoking and/or on fire.

Thanks, everyone!

This week’s episode: Paul is cranky/edgy; too much time is spent dwelling on Paul’s almost-purchase of an iPhone and Storm’s feelings about same; Storm’s Million-Dollar Idea for a headband camera; musings on the underwear thrown at us and Storm’s plan to recycle them; and pleasant reminiscences of our old sport of “fruiting.”

Featured post-show song: “I Want You Back” – The Jackson 5

Show #046: A Quiltful o’ Thongs (Some content NSFW)

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This week’s episode: discussion of John Hodgman’s excellent speech at the RTC Dinner, and his rightful place in the Dept. of Geek Affairs; failures in advertising; video games and motion sickness; our respective first performance experiences, and violating Storm’s memories; and our respective favorite commercials. Also, we loves the hecks out of the Englandses.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: What should John Hodgman’s honorific be? Also: what video games (especially Xbox games) are worth our hard-earned dollar?

Featured post-show song: “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday” – Paul Williams & The Great Gonzo (Dave Golez)

Show #045: Examining the Bear (Some content NSFW)

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This week’s episode: Storm returns triumphantly and rescues a cat; our inability to get accepted on Pandora; pie in upstate New York (definitely a pie place); Storm’s pants regrets, and Paul’s questionable pants practices; our recent addiction to Plants vs. Zombies; and James Michener and the prism of time.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Please answer the poll shown below. Please?

UPDATE: If you wish to suggest our music to Pandora, find out how to do it here. (Thanks for the reminder, Roman!)

Featured post-show song: “I’ll Go Home with Bonnie Jean” – Brigadoon (Original Broadway Cast

Show #044: Imminent Awesome Multitude of Pies (Some content NSFW)

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You can find all of Spiff’s videos (including the ones he did for our songs “Live” and “The Captain’s Wife’s Lament“) on his website or on the “Spiffworld” YouTube channel.

This week’s episode: Paul rides solo thanks to Storm’s fried internet router; Storm is less of a man than he once was; a brief review of our songwriting process; assurances that we have not forgotten our roots; and Jimmy Stewart (barely) trumps Cary Grant.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: If you could only watch the films of one actor or actress, whom would you choose?

Featured post-show song: “All By Myself” – Fats Domino

Show #043: Ain’t No Sunshine When He’s Gone (Some content NSFW)

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As you were…

This week’s episode: we cede the driver’s seat to our Twitter followers, and run with their suggested topics; the quintessential American-ness of Choco Tacos; musings on the lack of drive-thru Italian and Chinese food, leading to our plans to open a stick-and-cup-based eatery fronted by Dennis De Young; loving memories of our first cars; no Comic-Con for us this year; names are conspicuously dropped; we use any excuse to once again plug Tiny Run t-shirts, and discuss Paul’s pandering nature; and Storm’s surprise carnival midway story.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Check out our interview with the gang at WhatTheCast;, and another interview with Flain Falcon on his Anthropodcast.

Featured post-show song: “Carnival Ride” – Lojo Russo

Show #042: Mullet Hangover and the Inter-Dad Network (Some content NSFW)

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We started things off in Dallas on Wednesday, May 13, with the first of a three-show stint with Beardy McInternet. Easy enough: good crowd, nice venue, and Mai Tais. Nothing terribly out of the ordinary. (Except for the ASL interpretation, which was quite cool)

Then we did the thing that always guarantees strangeness: we went to California. First stop was San Diego on Thursday (technically, Solana Beach; but we’re not very technical), and a show at the Belly Up Tavern. The crowd was drunker than usual for a Coulton crowd, and especially punchy (but in a good way). Luckily, fan Gl3nn recorded the whole show, and posted it to the youtubes. Also, fans Colleenky and Jade showed their true dedication to their Minionhood with custom Minion sashes and buttons.

The next morning, we gathered in a secret underground bunker recording studio to record a Rifftrax for the movie TRON. (See our previous post for details) While it was somewhat unsettling to be recording snarky comments about a movie right in front of three of the guys who perfected the art form, we muddled through and celebrated with a lunch of staggering proportions, and a “standing around in the office lobby” picture (see right).

Working our way north (and further up the weirdness scale) we found ourselves in L.A. and right in the heart of a geek-cred vortex. Several vortices, actually, the first of which occurred when we met up with Adam “@lonelysandwich” Lisagor (”You Look Nice Today” podcast) and Jesse Thorn (host of “The Sound of Young America” and noted hater of shorts) and their significant others for the Friday night concert by Jon Brion at Largo. (He plays there pretty much every Friday) We were not adequately prepared for the degree of awesomeness and talent displayed, and all left the show despondent and filled with feelings of inadequacy; in other words, we had a great time.

Then, on Saturday, Kim Evey (co-producer of “The Guild” and star of “Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show“) hosted a house party with us, Jonathan, Adam, and half the cast of “The Guild”, including Felicia Day, Sandeep Parikh and Jeff Lewis, plus new media mega-agent George Ruiz. And what happened at the party? Rock Band, of course, courtesy of Ms. Day.

But wait, there’s more! Did we mention we did a show while in L.A.? And that it was at fabled venue Largo? (The place we talked about two paragraphs back?) And that Wil Wheaton introduced the show in his capacity as the Obama Administration’s Secretary of Geek Affairs (pending Senate confirmation)? And that the talented and adorable @Molly23 Lewis (sweetafton23) sat in with us during Jonathan’s set? And that five minutes into our own set there was a FRICKIN’ EARTHQUAKE that we didn’t even notice because we were rocking so hard?

It doesn’t get any better than that, does it? Well, yes, actually. It does. “Weird Al” Yankovic and his wife came for the show, and they were gracious enough to come and say “hi” afterwards (see pic at beginning of post), even though the risk of being trampled by an entire theater’s worth of adoring fans increased with every minute he stayed on the premises. Add to that an after-show hang that included (in addition to most of the previous night’s revelers) Jordan Morris (”Jordan Jesse Go!” podcast), Austin Tichenor (from the Reduced Shakespeare Company), and our good (and super-twisted-funny) friend Eric Schwartz, and you have a mighty overwhelming evening that pretty much shut down the internets for a few hours.

So we went home for half a week to reboot, then went right back out again, this time to the wilds of Illinois for two shows with our longtime friend comedian Dan St. Paul. Our first stop, on Thursday, May 21, was at the Jukebox Comedy Club in Peoria. While there, we had a nice interview with Adam Harris for the Stand-Up Chronicles podcast.

After a day off on Friday (during which we went to see the diverting but aggressively mediocre Terminator Salvation), we finished up with a show in Galesburg, Il at the lovely (and historic!) Orpheum Theatre. To get us in the proper historic mood, we spent some time during the day visiting the Carl Sandburg Historic Site. Finally, we staggered home (undoubtedly on little cat feet), road-weary but pound-foolish. (Or something; kinda lost the handle on that saying halfway through)

In summary: wow. And thanks.

(”What is Rifftrax?” you ask? Well, it’s where some folks—us in this case, but usually “Mystery Science Theater 3000” alums Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett—record snarky comments about a movie as an alternate audio track, which you then sync up while watching the movie; and hilarity ensues)

This week’s episode: personal improvement, regarding sitting up  listening; breaking through our passive aggression; our Tron Rifftrax is released; we get serious regarding minion submissions; dunce caps; Storm’s wife is fabulous; and ruminations on childhood experiences (esp. TV and movies) that get sullied upon revisitation. (Is that even a word?) Also: be careful.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Please share your own experiences with things that have disappointed you when you revisit them in adulthood; and let us know how people in your area bid each other farewell. Also, make sure, if/when you submit your minion photo, that you include a label of some sort declaring your minionhood.

Featured post-show song: “Land of the Lost” – Everclear

Show #041: My 39-Year-Old Man-Eyes (Some content NSFW)

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This week’s episode: A lengthy recap of our strange, wonderful week, with digressions about Trader Vics and theme restaurants, Rifftrax, the soullessness of Hollywood, and pre-show nervousness; highway lingo; Jon Brion; the Lefsetz Letter; the earthquake we caused through our Power of Rocking; and we take subject requests from the Twitter Minions.

Featured post-show song: “Hollywood” – Connie Francis

Show #040: Hollywood Douchebags (Some content NSFW)

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This week’s episode: Far too much time discussing toilets, toilet seats, and Japanese toilet technology; the culture of shame; a surprise gift from Storm’s cat; Storm’s complicated, avian relationship with Los Angeles; and happy, incontinent men on television.

Featured post-show song: “Toilet Seat” – Wayne Resnick’s Trigger Finger

Show #039: Show #039: By Gum, So Can You (Some content NSFW)

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Mother’s Day Song
(click to download, right-click then “Save As…” or however you do it on your particular machine; you should know how to do this by now!)

This week’s episode: Storm overcomes his mild disappointment, by way of his cat’s online fans; of cats, toilets and empathy; sign spinners; Paul mentions in passing his new floor installation, which leads to discussion of motivation and praise; and we warily step towards the precipice of political discussion, as Storm’s patronage of his favorite pizza place hangs in the balance.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Let us know if you have any evidence and/or experience of a cat (or cats) falling into and/or drowning in an open toilet. Also, are there other people (males) out there who require praise and affirmation after completing any household job/labor-intensive task?

Featured post-show song: “Señor Don Gato” – The Biscuit Brothers and The Wild Basin Winds

Show #038: Dunk-a-Cat (Some content NSFW)

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Available in the original suave 70’s green-on-green, as well as a variety of other far-out color schemes. Visit our CafePress store to see all of the options (including thongs).

Shirt Origins (for those who haven’t listened to the podcast): When Storm’s older sister got braces, their parents got her a “Tin Gins are In” t-shirt to cushion the blow. Not wanting to leave young Storm empty-handed, they thoughtfully devised the garment you see here, as he had recently joined the ranks of the four-eyed. (To find out how it all worked out, you’ll just have to suck it up and listen to the podcast.)

Yet here it is. We hope you enjoy “Here Come the Dinosaurs“, and if you can explain to the class what it means, feel free to share! Credits appear below the break.

All music, Flash animation, and start-motion handimation by Paul and Storm

Grumpy Cat played by Reinhold McPhee-DiCostanzo*

Gertie the Dinosaur (cartoon video clip) by Winsor McCay (1914, public domain)

Public domain images:

Skull by Silsor http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Skull_and_crossbones.svg

Coloring book Tyrannosaurus, Triceratops and Pterodactyl from http://karenswhimsy.com/public-domain-images

Super-scary dino & building by Laura Scudder http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Senckenberg_mit_Dino.jpg

Car http://www.freeclipartnow.com/transportation/cars/car-Acura.jpg.html

Ceratosaurus by Joesph Smit http://www.copyrightexpired.com/earlyimage/prehistoriclifebeforekt/ceratosaurus_cood_1894_smit_1929.html

Subway station by  Daniel Schwen http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:NYC_Wall_St_station.jpg

Iguanadon by Alice B. Woodward http://www.copyrightexpired.com/earlyimage/prehistoriclifebeforekt/iguanodon_iln_1895_woodward_1951.html

Basketball game by Greg Ma http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Monta_Ellis_dunking.jpg

Basketball by Reisio http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Basketball.png

Special thanks to Mike “Spiff” Booth and Jonathan Coulton for technical assistance

* Mr. R was not harmed during the filming of this video. In fact, he was fed treats.

This week’s episode: the PAX announcement; cool masks and Mork suspenders; crawling deep into our own (metaphorical) asses to discuss the past two weeks’ musical and video work, including our newest song, “Here Come the Dinosaurs“; ruminating on the popularity of cat videos; and the joys of poutine, and how best to export it to the States.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: What makes cat videos so popular on the Netterwebs? Also, vote in the poll to help decide the name for Storm’s poutinerie franchises (or suggest your own name).

Featured post-show song: “Everybody Loves French Fries” – Stanley Schwartz

Show #037: Street Urchin Fall-Down Theater (Some content NSFW)

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- Great crowds. Not that we don’t love all our crowds equally (of course we do!), but it’s so nice to know that there’s a whole other nation stocked with twisted minds.

- POUTINE! Several heaping helpings were enjoyed at Smokes in Toronto. If someone asks if you’d like the double pork, you say YES. And if they ever open in our home towns, we will go ahead and make reservations at our local cardiac wards.

- Felted Paul and Storm. Not inherently or iconically Canadian per se, but produced there by fan/merchtrix Zoe. Epic detailing!

- Robot Pirate and Nun by Robot a Day. Felted Paul and Storm came nested inside of these ingenious little vinyl critters.

Hope to see you again soon!

This song is our entry for the final match of the current round of the Masters of Song Fu songwriting competition. Our task this time around was to “craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within [our] final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole.”

To answer the call, we dug deep within our souls…and found an arcade in 1981, apparently. But then we realized that the video game Frogger contains all the elements of a great narrative; all it needed was someone with the guts, someone with the inspiration, someone with an assignment to write a song and a rapidly approaching deadline. That someone was us.

In any event, please enjoy our latest epic; and when you’re done listening, please go vote for your favorite. (We’re up against the talented and terminally adorable ukuletrix Molly in this final round, so it should be a hard-fought battle)

Frogger! The Frogger Musical

This week’s rough-and-tumble episode: morning people, night people, and taking care of needs; expressions of love, including eye removal and fistfuls cat poop; the loss of Harry Kalas; improper engine designations; the rise and allure of CB culture, and parallels to modern times; and standing in front of a net.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Tell us where you think the nickname “Mookie” comes from; also, tell us how you express your love for your loved one(s).

Featured post-show song: ”The Trucker Song” - Lindsay Thomas Morgan

Show #036: Laptops for Truckers (Some content NSFW)

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…and from M&Ms back in the 1980s…

Wednesday April 8 at 8 pm
Diamond Jo Casino (Dubuque, IA)
Tickets available at door

Thursday April 9 at 7:30 pm
4th Street Theatre (Des Moines, IA)
Tickets available at door or call (515) 288-5282

Friday April 10 at 8 pm
Penguins Comedy Club (Cedar Rapids, IA)
Tickets: tinyurl.com/adxj62

Saturday April 11 at 7:30 pm & 10 pm
Penguins Comedy Club (Cedar Rapids, IA)
Tickets: 7:30 – tinyurl.com/cl8f2v; 10 – tinyurl.com/bfvs8l

This week’s episode: we’re handy, both indoors and out; mattocks, yucca, injuries, and killing and eating one’s enemies; alternate options for Paul’s family room; Storm’s history of the American tunic, the t-shirt; Paul forgets what year It Happened One Night was made, but presses on; the joy of the heat transfer; braces and glasses and pithy iron-on phrases; dirt bikes, resenting McDonalds and black Trans Ams.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Tell us of your coveted t-shirts, preferably from your childhood.

Featured post-show song: ”Bubble Gum and Braces” - Bobby Sherman

Show #035: Magic Brickamajig (Some content NSFW)

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This week’s episode: The Department of Geek Affairs store opens; WarGames, the Deez, and proto-geeks; labelling the Internet-famous, in which John Hodgman is compared—aptly, even—to Frank Sinatra; Storm’s childhood slang; sexist Judaica; Paul waxes poetic about Giggleberry Fair, which leads to discussion of childhood wish destinations, and Paul’s faulty memories of Gaslight Village.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Come up with a name for the new “Internet Famous” gang. Also, tell us about the place you always wanted to go to as a kid, but either seldom or never made it there.

Featured post-show song: ”Milford Plaza Commercial” - The Milford Plaza

Show #034: Oh God, That’s Gonna Stick (Some content NSFW)

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So tremendous, in fact, that we feel compelled to monetize share it with everyone, in the form of t-shirts, mugs, mouse pads, buttons, magnets, thongs, and whatever else we can think of slapping it onto.

That’s right…now available in our CafePress store: The Department of Geek Affairs product line! T-shirt styles and colors abound, many in both “full-size logo” and “pocket logo” options. Show your support for the one government department that addresses your needs and concerns*! Go, browse, purchase; then you, too, can rightfully claim: “I came, I saw, I bought the tote bag.”

*Department of Geek Affairs is not yet recognized by the Obama Administration.

After a long campaign against the best and brightest geek luminaries, Wil Wheaton has emerged as the people’s choice to hold the office of the (yet to be officially recognized) Secretary of Geek Affairs.

Nearly 90,000 total votes were cast in determining the Geek Madness Tournament outcome, and Mr. Wheaton vanquished an impressive list of geek luminaries on his march to victory: Bruce Campbell, Wesley Crusher, Stephen Hawking, Steve Wozniak, Gabe & Tycho (Penny Arcade), and Joss Whedon.

Learn more about your new Secretary from his wikipedia entry, and from the man himself at his site. Click on the Department of Geek Affairs emblem (above right, created by the entirely excellent Len Peralta) for a full-size version.

“There’s a hole in the English language: how to greet people when it’s exactly noon. Good Noon? Hi, Noon? G’Nooner?”

…has blossomed into a gripping intellectual exercise. So we’ve extracted some of the best suggestions from the dozens of @ replies and put them into a poll to settle the matter once and for all (maybe):

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

This week’s episode: clowns, anthropomorphic candy, depressed gorillas, and other things that freak out children; El Marko; Storm’s Twitter resurgence and wanting a new phone like all the cool kids; and a Mrs. Marv Mendenhall challenge.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Recommend a smart phone for Storm (and, eventually, Paul); feel free to really mix it up and slag on your favorite’s rivals.

Featured post-show song: ”Beth” - Kiss

Show #033: Here Comes the Kiss Woman! (Some content NSFW)

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This week’s episode: the question of cubits; Storm may or may not be an asshole; wild adventures at SXSW Interactive, with a cast of dozens (including You Look Nice Today, MC Frontalot and waxy.org); we actually meet She Who Has Acknowledged Us; we announce the first US Secretary of Geek Affairs; brick toys; the joys of Texas eating; and we ponder “which one is me?” Also, Storm’s legs.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Pick a group of identifiable personalities/characters (the cast of “Friends”, the “Scooby-Doo” gang, the US Supreme Court, etc.), identify which one is “you,” and defend your selection. Also, Minions who send us their “Scooby-Doo ratio” in pie chart or Venn Diagram form will receive an accolade to be determined.

Featured post-show song: ”Banjo Players in Heaven” - Austin Lounge Lizards

Show #032: Tagamuchi Brick Game Fun Toy Playtime (Some content NSFW)

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For starters, we’re forming a new cover band with Jonathan Coulton; we fully expect this new project to be our full-time musical endeavor withing the next several months…

Even more momentous than that, however, is our inevitable segue into the world of feature films. We enlisted a close personal friend of ours to help us realize our long-gestating vision. Thus, we bring you the teaser trailer for our upcoming animated blockbuster, PaulandStormaline:

Friday March 13 at 8 pm
House of Blues (Houston, TX) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/cxdf8s

Sunday March 15 at 7 pm
Antone’s (Austin, TX) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/ama6l7
(This is not an official part of SXSW, you must buy tickets to attend)

Friday March 20 at 7 pm
State Theatre (Bay City, MI) with Tim Bedore
Tickets: tinyurl.com/cokx4o

Friday March 27 at 8 pm
Symphony Space (New York, NY) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/dkzjoe

Wednesday April 8
Dubuque, IA
More info TBA

Thursday April 9
4th Street Theatre (Des Moines, IA)
More info TBA

Friday April 10 at 8 pm
Penguins Comedy Club (Cedar Rapids, IA)
Tickets: tinyurl.com/adxj62

Saturday April 11 at 7:30 pm & 10 pm
Penguins Comedy Club (Cedar Rapids, IA)
Tickets: 7:30 – tinyurl.com/ancgun; 10 – tinyurl.com/bfvs8l

Friday April 17 at 8 pm
Tanners Grill and Bar (Kimberly, WI) with Sean Morey
Tickets available at door

Thursday April 23 at 8 pm
Lula Lounge (Toronto, ON) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/czz9sn

Friday April 24 at 7:30 pm
Lula Lounge (Toronto, ON) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/bxr6lb

You answered the call in droves (specifically, 62 of you; how many droves in 62?), and carried out the mission with the determination, guile, and creativity that is the hallmark of the Paul & Storm Brigade of Minions.

- You went forth and found or created a cheesy digital greeting card
- You deciphered the totally intentional riddle to guess Paul’s e-mail address
- You sent your card to Paul, cunningly signing it as “Joss Whedon”*

Some highlights from this wicked, dastardly task:

• This one
• Oh, and this one
• And who could forget this one?

All participating Minions should have been credited by now with a special citation, which appears as “COMMENDATION: Operation Blue Mountain” under their pictures in the Brigade of Minions flickr group. If you did not receive credit, you can stake your claim by writing us at “info at paulandstorm.com” (and in this way, we will also have your e-mail address for future missions); make sure to include your Minion name. If you claim credit and did not participate, we will know. We do not need to tell you that the penalty for Minion Fraud is painful and will be exacted WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

Not a certified Minion yet? Want to be part of future world domination plans that Minions often characterize as “fun”? Here’s the key.

* Our esteem in no way indicates a preference for Joss Whedon in regards to Geek Madness, pro or con. We also love and admire Wil Wheaton and appreciate all that he does for the geek community. Either will make a splendid Secretary of Geek Affairs.

This week’s episode: dissecting the Fake Joss Whedon Birthday Onslaught (and the possibility of a real Joss Whedon sighting); engineering a geeky train wreck; our imminent switch to cloud hosting, and what that means for your donations; the joys of Buttafuoco Pants, the Harlem Globetrotters, and other great gifts; and popping balloons and Ronaldi Modaldi. Also, be sure to check out Rednosenet.com on Friday, March 13th!

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Tell us about a particularly memorable (for good or ill) birthday memory and/or present.

Featured post-show song: ”Where is the Cake?” - Matan Ariel & Friends

Show #031: Buttafuoco Pants (Some content NSFW)

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So congratulations to Jerry and Mike for a well-deserved “good on ya!”

As a refresher (or primer, for those who might be seeing this tournament for the first time), here are the qualifications for the position:

1. Advise the POTUS on matters concerning, affecting, and/or of interest to geeks (as well as nerds and similar constituencies);
2. Implement POTUS policies generated by first responsibility; and
3. Act as liaison on POTUS’ behalf between the greater U.S. geek community and other national and international stakeholders.
4. Not required to be a U.S. citizen, because we say so.

Now do your patriotic duty and VOTE!

Joss Whedon: Writer/producer/director; creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (film/TV), “Angel” (TV) “Firefly”/Serenity (TV/film) and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (interwebs)
Notes: Has strong track record of creating television shows marked by clever dialogue, smart and interesting characters, fantastical elements, and extremely short lifespans; ridiculously devoted following; as if geek cred wasn’t strong enough, was one of the co-writers of Toy Story. Defeated Ken Plume, Doctor Who, Jonathan Coulton, Felicia Day and Kaylee Frye.

Wil Wheaton: Writer, actor; blogging pioneer; most widely known for roles as Wesley Crusher (Star Trek TNG) and Gordie LaChance in Stand By Me.
Notes: Parlayed his much-maligned portrayal of Wesley Crusher into a multi-platform second career; blog/website is a hub for geek discourse; poker player and fan; has his own tag on Fark.com. Defeated Bruce Campbell, Wesley Crusher, Stephen Hawking, Steve Wozniak and Gabe & Tycho (Penny Arcade).

This week’s episode: various terms are used recklessly and/or inappropriately; too much time and contention spent on a new Minion designation; still more musings on fame, in light of our recent increasing proximity to those who possess it; the lasting power of embarrassment; and passing along our enjoyment of the works of John Scalzi.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Tell us about that embarrassing thing you did that you still beat yourself up over.

Featured post-show song: ”Johnny Saucep’n” - Moxy Fruvous

Show #030: Tacos with Paul McCartney (Some content NSFW)

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All results to-date are on the main Geek Madness page.

Review all the matchups and go vote, after the break.

MATCH #1:

Kaylee Frye vs. Joss Whedon

Battle for the Whedon Crown

Kaylee Frye: Character, Joss Whedon’s TV series “Firefly” and film Serenity; ship’s mechanic.
Notes: Prototypical geek girl who has a great love of and intuitive talent with technology; feminine without being entirely “girly;” only partially aware of how stupefyingly attractive she is. Defeated The Professor in Round 1 and Tricia “Trillian” McMillan in Round 2,  Steve Jobs in the Geek 16 and Simon Pegg in the Reasonable 8.

Joss Whedon: Writer/producer/director; creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (film/TV), “Angel” (TV) “Firefly”/Serenity (TV/film) and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (interwebs)
Notes: Has strong track record of creating television shows marked by clever dialogue, smart and interesting characters, fantastical elements, and extremely short lifespans; ridiculously devoted following; as if geek cred wasn’t strong enough, was one of the co-writers of Toy Story. Defeated Ken Plume in Round 1, Doctor WhoJonathan Coulton in the Geek 16 and Felicia Day in the Reasonable 8.

MATCH #2

Wil Wheaton vs. Gabe & Tycho

Battle of the Online Touchstone Titans

Gabe & Tycho: Webcomic alter egos of Penny Arcade writers/creators Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik
Notes: Multiple weekly strips are a touchstone of gaming and gamer culture. Characters also help promote the PAX gaming festival and Child’s Play charitable effort. Defeated Sarah Vowell in Round 1, Alton Brown in Round 2 and Douglas Adams in the Geek 16 and John Hodgman in the Reasonable 8.

Wil Wheaton: Writer, actor; blogging pioneer; most widely known for roles as Wesley Crusher (Star Trek TNG) and Gordie LaChance in Stand By Me.
Notes: Parlayed his much-maligned portrayal of Wesley Crusher into a multi-platform second career; blog/website is a hub for geek discourse; poker player and fan; has his own tag on Fark.com. Defeated Bruce Campbell in Round 1, Wesley Crusher in Round 2 and Stephen Hawking in the Geek 16 and Steve Wozniak in the Reasonable 8.

His assistant familiar true boss Lorraine wrote all about the visit in a manner befitting the setting.

Let’s just say…well, that the visit didn’t end the way we had planned; but probably how we should have expected…

This week’s episode: Discussing reasons why we’re tired and grumpy; lateral bungee jumping and the addictive nature of performing; February 24th is Spay Day; Mark Twain invented Batman, along with every rhyme and game you sang/played in elementary school; detailed childhood sense memories involving Wings, crinkle fries and wetting ourselves; and roughly six minutes about onion juice and sex (separately). Plus, Paul’s dog barks a lot in the background.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Tell us about the “playground songs” you used to sing when you were wee. Also, feel free to share your own incredibly-specific childhood sense memory.

Featured post-show song: ”When She Walks By” - Mike Errico

Show #029: The Onion Juice Quandary (Some content NSFW)

Enjoy the podcast? Maybe donate, why don’tcha?

All results to-date are on the main Geek Madness page.

Review all the matchups and go vote, after the break.

MATCH #1:

Simon Pegg vs. Kaylee Frye

“Spaced” star, or Star in space?

Simon Pegg: Actor/writer; co-creator/star, “Spaced“, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz.
Notes: Portraying “Scotty” in upcoming Star Trek reboot; staunch opponent of Star Wars prequel trilogy; no danger of influence from powerful zombie special interest groups. Defeated Peter Parker in Round 1, Linus Torvalds in Round 2, and Randall Munroe in the Geek 16.

Kaylee Frye: Character, Joss Whedon’s TV series “Firefly” and film Serenity; ship’s mechanic.
Notes: Prototypical geek girl who has a great love of and intuitive talent with technology; feminine without being entirely “girly;” only partially aware of how stupefyingly attractive she is. Defeated The Professor in Round 1 and Tricia “Trillian” McMillan in Round 2, and Steve Jobs in the Geek 16.

MATCH #2

John Hodgman vs. Gabe & Tycho

Pretend expert, or Pretend gamers?

John Hodgman: Author (The Areas of My Expertise; More Information Than You Require); actor/TV personality (”PC” in long-running Apple Computer Mac ads; “The Daily Show“).
Notes: Bookish, likable manner and quirky, tweedy humor have made him a major breakout minor celebrity, crossing over beyond geek circles; near-ubiquity in 2007 and 2008 could lead to “Dude, you’re getting a Dell”-style backlash. Defeated Ben Stein in Round 1 and Spock in Round 2 and They Might Be Giants in the Geek 16.

Gabe & Tycho: Webcomic alter egos of Penny Arcade writers/creators Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik
Notes: Multiple weekly strips are a touchstone of gaming and gamer culture. Characters also help promote the PAX gaming festival and Child’s Play charitable effort. Defeated Sarah Vowell in Round 1, Alton Brown in Round 2 and Douglas Adams in the Geek 16.

MATCH #3

Wil Wheaton vs. Steve Wozniak

Multi-platform phenom, or Innovative, good-natured billionaire?

Wil Wheaton: Writer, actor; blogging pioneer; most widely known for roles as Wesley Crusher (Star Trek TNG) and Gordie LaChance in Stand By Me.
Notes: Parlayed his much-maligned portrayal of Wesley Crusher into a multi-platform second career; blog/website is a hub for geek discourse; poker player and fan; has his own tag on Fark.com. Defeated Bruce Campbell in Round 1, Wesley Crusher in Round 2 and Stephen Hawking in the Geek 16.

Steve Wozniak: Co-founder of Apple Computer.
Notes: One of the original Geeks Who Made It Big. Engaging personality and contributions to the early development of the personal computer more likely to elicit shouts of “Good on ya!” than sour, jealous comments. Defeated Ira Glass in Round 1, Dr. Carl Sagan in Round 2, and Veronica Belmont in the Geek 16.

MATCH #4

Joss Whedon vs. Felicia Day

Creator of popular fantasies for geeks or Popular geek fantasy?

Joss Whedon: Writer/producer/director; creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (film/TV), “Angel” (TV) “Firefly”/Serenity (TV/film) and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (interwebs)
Notes: Has strong track record of creating television shows marked by clever dialogue, smart and interesting characters, fantastical elements, and extremely short lifespans; ridiculously devoted following; as if geek cred wasn’t strong enough, was one of the co-writers of Toy Story. Defeated Ken Plume in Round 1, Doctor WhoJonathan Coulton in the Geek 16. in Round 2 and

Felicia Day: Actress/creator/writer of geek-centric internet show “The Guild“; broadened recognition with role in Joss Whedon’s Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.
Notes: A genuine gaming enthusiast (not some Hollywood pretender) whose geek profile exploded in 2008; a genuine grass roots new media success story of a “homemade” internet show that, offered for free on YouTube, garnered a large following and eventual media sponsorship that manages to maintain a geek-friendly distribution model; also an accomplished violinist; has noticed us. Defeated Ernie Kovacs in Round 1, Tom Servo & Crow T. Robot in Round 2 and Stan Lee in the Geek 16.

This week’s episode: The several-headed hydra that is our fanbase; the recounting of our interesting trip to Iowa, including missing digits and/or limbs and/or social filters; a discussion of funny in general; the misattribution of a bit; consideration as to what animal would be worth $20k; the recommendation of some things; the admission of things we can’t get into; and knowing when the joke is done.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Let’s talk about comedy. Are insensitive jokes by necessity not funny? Should some topics just plain old not be approached? Also, what animal would you pay $20,000 for (if any)?

Featured post-show song: ”Victoria” - Jukebox the Ghost

Show #028: …And She Solves Mysteries (Some content NSFW)

Enjoy the podcast? Maybe donate, why don’tcha?

All results to-date are on the main Geek Madness page.

Review all the matchups and go vote, after the break.

click for larger image

MATCH #1:

Wil Wheaton vs. Stephen Hawking

Multi-platform phenom, or Visionary physicist?

Wil Wheaton: Writer, actor; blogging pioneer; most widely known for roles as Wesley Crusher (Star Trek TNG) and Gordie LaChance in Stand By Me.
Notes: Parlayed his much-maligned portrayal of Wesley Crusher into a multi-platform second career; blog/website is a hub for geek discourse; poker player and fan; has his own tag on Fark.com. Defeated Bruce Campbell in Round 1 and Wesley Crusher in Round 2.

Stephen Hawking: Theoretical physicist and Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge.
Notes: Best-selling book A Brief History of Time brought advanced cosmology and mathematics to the masses. Masses might learn a thing or two if they actually dusted it off and read it. Defeated Cory Doctorow in Round 1 and MC Frontalot in Round 2.

MATCH #2

Steve Wozniak vs. Veronica Belmont

Innovative, good-natured billionaire, or Hot geek media princess?

Steve Wozniak: Co-founder of Apple Computer.
Notes: One of the original Geeks Who Made It Big. Engaging personality and contributions to the early development of the personal computer more likely to elicit shouts of “Good on ya!” than sour, jealous comments. Defeated Ira Glass in Round 1 and Dr. Carl Sagan in Round 2.

Veronica Belmont: Internet personality; co-host of Tekzilla podcast and Qore (Playstation3).
Notes: Strong credentials with stints at CNET and former host of Mahalo Daily; 40,000+ Twitter followers can’t be wrong; “hot chick” factor cannot be discounted, may help get agenda passed by old-boy network in Congress. Defeated Professor Frink in Round 1 and Jamie Hyneman & Adam Savage in Round 2.

MATCH #3

Jonathan Coulton vs. Joss Whedon

Singer of songs about monsters and robots, or Creator of shows about monsters and robots?

Jonathan Coulton: Singer/songwriter known for tech-savvy music with high geek appeal, most notably through his “Thing A Week” project and the end credits song from the video game Portal (”Still Alive”).
Notes: Earned title of “Internet Superstar” by gathering a large, loyal following by employing online tools to enable his audience to find him; among his viral hits are “Code Monkey” and an acoustic cover of Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back”; major advocate of Creative Commons. Defeated Angus MacGyver in Round 1and Bill Nye in Round 2. [FULL DISCLOSURE: Tournament hosts often tour with Mr. Coulton.]

Joss Whedon: Writer/producer/director; creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (film/TV), “Angel” (TV) “Firefly”/Serenity (TV/film) and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (interwebs)
Notes: Has strong track record of creating television shows marked by clever dialogue, smart and interesting characters, fantastical elements, and extremely short lifespans; ridiculously devoted following; as if geek cred wasn’t strong enough, was one of the co-writers of Toy Story. Defeated Ken Plume in Round 1 and Doctor Who in Round 2.

MATCH #4

Stan Lee vs. Felicia Day

Comics elder statesman or Newly-minted Internet idol?

Stan Lee: Comic book writer, editor and former driving force of Marvel Comics.
Notes: Co-created Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor, Daredevil, Doctor Strange; pioneered new storytelling forms throughout his career; major player in transforming a format previously written off as “kids’ stuff;” also, “Excelsior!” Defeated Danica McKellar in Round 1 and John Lasseter in Round 2.

Felicia Day: Actress/creator/writer of geek-centric internet show “The Guild“; broadened recognition with role in Joss Whedon’s Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.
Notes: A genuine gaming enthusiast (not some Hollywood pretender) whose geek profile exploded in 2008; a genuine grass roots new media success story of a “homemade” internet show that, offered for free on YouTube, garnered a large following and eventual media sponsorship that manages to maintain a geek-friendly distribution model; also an accomplished violinist; has noticed us. Defeated Ernie Kovacs in Round 1 and Tom Servo & Crow T. Robot in Round 2.

In honor of President’s Day, we learned just enough Flash to put together a little celebratory geegaw, “Founding Fathers”, that we hope will entertain you for at least 20-30 seconds. The less we say about it the better, but know that there is no “end” to this interactive thing that is not exactly a game; it will run until you close it.

Would our nation’s forebears approve? It would be folly to try and divine their inner deliberations. With the exception of Ben Franklin…he’d have thought it was a hoot.

In addition to the two-hundred-thirty-odd years of history and countless social and technological advancements that made this digital toy possible, we’d like to thank a few other folks; please see the credits below the break.

Mike “Spiff” Booth – Technology platforms

Independence Hall (photo) by Steve and Sara
http://www.flickr.com/photos/emry/2883626363/sizes/l/

“Yankee Doodle” by American Originals Fife and Drum Corps, Inc.
http://www.americanoriginals.org/

Drum Roll by Heigh Ho
http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=19433

Bonk Sound by Patchen
http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=4138

@aforgottentune @jonschwartz @HellZiggy and @MitchO @thomasls for Twitter-related services rendered

Here’s a twofer for you…as has been mentioned elsewhere, the third iteration of the Masters of Song Fu competition has started, and we are once again competing as “masters”—this time alongside fellow novelty duo Garfunkel and Oates (who are, we admit it, far cuter than we), and former Rutle/Python collaborator/Bonzo Dog Band member and British person Neil Innes. There’s also a flurry of “challengers” vying for the title.

In this first round, our task was to “write a happy song.” We had a solid idea for most of the week, but it just wasn’t forming quickly enough. (It’s still a solid idea, and will most likely get completed; we just need to take our time with it so it doesn’t collapse, much like a souffle) So with about 28 hours before the deadline, we started from scratch.

Short gestation period or no, we’re quite pleased with the result:

Hippie with a Djembe

Your task now is to go vote—but don’t just vote blindly for us because you love us; listen to all the songs and vote for your true favorite. Many of the challengers did yeoman’s work as well; it’s gonna be a fun competition…

Here’s the “two” part of the twofer: many of you are aware of our “25 Days of Newman” project from this past December. Those of you without the stamina to slog through all 25 songs, however, may not have realized that our final song broke the worn-into-the-ground pattern, and was in fact a “real” new song. As such, we present it here, six weeks later and well past its freshness date, in all its change-of-pace-ness (listen to it and you’ll see what we mean):

Better Off Dead (Randy Newman’s “Theme from ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’”)

Friday, February 13 at 8 pm
Comfort Suites Hotel (Burlington, IA with Henry Phillips
Tickets: tinyurl.com/bl96ar

Saturday, February 14 at 8 pm
Best Western Hotel & Convention Center (Clear Lake, IA) with Henry Phillips
Tickets available at door

Friday February 20 at 7:30 PM
The Birchmere (Alexandria, VA) with Jonathan Coulton
SOLD OUT! (A few last-minute tix may be available at the box office that night, though we can’t promise anything)

Saturday, February 21 at 8 pm
Rams Head Tavern (Annapolis, MD) with Jonathan Coulton
SOLD OUT! (See above re: last-minute tix)

Thursday, February 26 at 7:30 pm
Barrymore Theater (Madison, WI) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/86lw3z

Friday, February 27 at 8 pm
History Theater (St. Paul, MN) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/c9rt56

Saturday, February 28 at 8 pm
Park West (Chicago, IL) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/8n3glh

Friday, March 6 at 8 pm
The Ark (Ann Arbor, MI) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: theark.org/1948.html

Friday, March 13 at 8 pm
House of Blues (Houston, TX) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets on sale Feb. 13

Friday, March 20 at 7 pm
State Theatre (Bay City, MI) with Tim Bedore
Tickets: tinyurl.com/cokx4o

This week’s episode: the decline of TV theme songs (theories both practical and crackpot); the shame of having ever liked “Friends”; further exploration regarding categories of geeks; pandering that tried to claim it’s not pandering; the need for our own fan-generated contest; minions are sicced on Len and Nora; creative gridlock necessitates pressing the button for plotting an alternate route; and we realize that we will not have a righteous video unless we have Eddie Van Halen.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Are greasemonkeys geeks? How about obsessive gardeners? Where do YOU draw the line? PLUS…tell us what kind of contest Paul & Storm should run (see poll below and/or write in) .

Featured post-show song: ”Hippie with a Djembe” - Paul and Storm

Show #027: A Nice Can of Bread (Some content NSFW)

Enjoy the podcast? Maybe donate, why don’tcha?

After eight grueling weeks, sixteen remain to tussle it out for the title of Secretary of Geek Affairs. All results to-date are on the main Geek Madness page.

Yes, we’re well aware that many of you will find it impossible to decide. But you must. Be brave! Review all the matchups and go vote, after the break.

click for larger image

MATCH #1:

Simon Pegg vs. Randall Munroe

Comedy or comics?

Simon Pegg: Actor/writer; co-creator/star, “Spaced“, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz.
Notes: Portraying “Scotty” in upcoming Star Trek reboot; staunch opponent of Star Wars prequel trilogy; no danger of influence from powerful zombie special interest groups. Defeated Peter Parker in Round 1 and Linus Torvalds in Round 2.

Randall Munroe: Creator of webcomic xkcd.
Notes: Has graduate degree in physics; captures the nuances of geek life by investing his rudimentary stick figures with keen and often poignant observations; occasional stick figure sex. Defeated Kevin Smith in Round 1 and Patton Oswalt in Round 2.

MATCH #2

Kaylee Frye vs. Steve Jobs

Scrappy, adorable mechanical genius or tenacious, temperamental captain of industry?

Kaylee Frye: Character, Joss Whedon’s TV series “Firefly” and film Serenity; ship’s mechanic.
Notes: Prototypical geek girl who has a great love of and intuitive talent with technology; feminine without being entirely “girly;” only partially aware of how stupefyingly attractive she is. Defeated The Professor and was top vote-getter of Do’Urden Round 1 and Tricia “Trillian” McMillan in Round 2.

Steve Jobs: Co-founder, Chairman and CEO of Apple Computer; former CEO, Pixar Animation Studios.
Notes: Fearless competitor, constantly leading market in technology and design innovation; don’t know what he was thinking with the whole NeXT thing; allegedly kind of a dick in person. Defeated Cast of Revenge of the Nerds in Round 1 and RMS in Round 2.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

MATCH #3

John Hodgman vs. They Might Be Giants

John or Johns?

John Hodgman: Author (The Areas of My Expertise; More Information Than You Require); actor/TV personality (”PC” in long-running Apple Computer Mac ads; “The Daily Show“).
Notes: Bookish, likable manner and quirky, tweedy humor have made him a major breakout minor celebrity, crossing over beyond geek circles; near-ubiquity in 2007 and 2008 could lead to “Dude, you’re getting a Dell”-style backlash. Defeated Ben Stein in Round 1 and Spock in Round 2.

They Might Be Giants: Grammy Award-winning alt-pop duo John Flansburgh and John Linnell.
Notes: Extremely popular in geek circles for their catchy, melodic, humorous and intelligent music; frequent collaborators on TV, movie, literature and other projects (geek and non-geek); probably most widely known for “The Boss of Me”, theme song to Fox Television’s “Malcolm in the Middle“. Recent Dunkin’ Donuts commercial work may provoke cries from hardcore fans of “selling out.” Defeated Ponder Stibbons in Round 1 and Tom Lehrer in Round 2.

MATCH #4

Gabe & Tycho vs. Douglas Adams

Heroes of today or legend of all time?

Gabe & Tycho: Webcomic alter egos of Penny Arcade writers/creators Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik
Notes: Multiple weekly strips are a touchstone of gaming and gamer culture. Characters also help promote the PAX gaming festival and Child’s Play charitable effort. Defeated Sarah Vowell in Round 1 and Alton Brown in Round 2.

Douglas Adams: Author best known for his The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series.
Notes: Tremendous champion of technology; wrote several “Doctor Who” episodes; appeared briefly in two episodes of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus“; 42. Defeated Bill Gates in Round 1 and “Weird Al” Yankovic in Round 2.