This week’s episode: we are joined by our friend Josh A. Cagan, a Real Hollywood Screenwriter Person. Together, we dwell on the topic of Bonercat; discuss Josh’s origin story; writing in TV vs. for films; moving to Los Angeles and drinking the Kool-Aid; movies for kids and tweens and giant robots; fictional vacation spots; and a Stalinist propaganda challenge. Also, Kim Evey but definitely not Greg Benson.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: If you could spend a vacation in any location from fiction, where would you go?

Show #124: Bonercat

This week’s episode: the busy, the laziness, and forgetting; the unattractiveness of aliens; shooting Tim Gunn into space; the Kraken vs. Aquaman vs. Ringo Starr; technical difficulties and building a hot 80s computer; our take on the Ocean Marketing debacle; have nerds become the bullies; Nerd/Bro is the new Nerd/Jock; and foods that BLOW YOUR MIND; don’t forget that bacon really is good.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Did the Ocean Image marketing guy deserve to be hit with the million-pound shithammer, and/or did he instead become the victim of bullying?

Show #123: LED Volcano

In the spirit of the season, we offer this musical celebration of the day for 100% FREES! (from 2009′s It Might Be Xmas project)

NOTE: to those of you whining about Festivus, we say “hush now, you silly people.”

Christmas Eve Eve

(clicking on the above link will take you to the song’s Bandcamp page, where you can purchase the song for any price you wish, including $0.00. Or you can just listen to the song there, or via the player below. OPTIONS!)

All tickets for tonight’s show will be honored for the Sunday show. If you have a ticket for tonight’s show and cannot attend the rescheduled show, full refunds will be granted.

We apologize for any inconvenience, and hopefully will see you Sunday night!.

Nope; it’s just Thanksgiving. (For those of you outside America, Thanksgiving is a US holiday invented by the Cranberry Sauce lobby) It started out as a heartfelt attempt to write a song about the things we are thankful for, and then evolved into…well, let’s just say it took a bit of a turn.

Special thanks to Aubrey Webber from The Doubleclicks for her fine doleful cello work.

Listen below, and buy it in our store.

Happy Imminent Onslaught of Holidays, everyone!

(Note: NSFW language)

This week’s episode: the Swedish Chef vs. Ozzy Osbourne, in which being cogent and likable are paramount; The Sarandon Quotient for determining acting/stardom ratios; the perils of leftover candy and the conscientious disposal thereof; bubblegum preferences and why spearmint is the most humane flavor; mutant dental powers, doo wop, and Sugar Daddies; pushing gum in elementary school and the false allure of carbon paper; and we heartily recommend The Thrilling Adventure Hour and The Big Broadcast.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Who in film/TV has a perfect balance of acting ability and starpower?

Show #122: You Are a Gummer, I’m Not the Banana Guy

This week’s episode: not recorded from Paul’s house and Storm’s house, but in Wil Wheaton’s kitchen; Paul-o-ween; old political leanings and wikipedia trolls; doing new stuff and cat/dog/me; future guy brings grape leaves; raising geek kids; Witching Hour is much better than Casper the Friendly Ghost; solidarity hockey beard; Wil on JoCo Cruise Crazy; PAX joy; being Batman; the connection between poker and port defense; Yoda again does battle, this time against Dream; Wil Wheaton vs. Paul and Storm; and why we’re not coming to Indiana, but not really.

Show #121: Dexterity Is My Dump Stat

That time of year when we all exclaim, “Are you KIDDING me? I haven’t even taken down my Halloween decorations, and this stupid store already hauled out the tinsel and Bing Crosby music?”

Sadly, the decorations actually started weeks ago. But here’s a freebie from the back catalog to ease your pain…

The Way-Too-Early Christmas Song (Right-click and choose “Save file as…” or however the heck you do it on your computer)

Way-Too-Early Christmas Monster art by Len Peralta.

This week’s episode (posted a little late, sorry): units of kernels and lots of things; Storm’s new Black Mold Studios basement setup; a new challenge or two, possibly involving puppies and sandwiches; frickin’ lasers, bespoke suits and the definition of “cool;” Paul’s computer pukes yet again (gotta sort that out); fictional taxi drivers; pretzel-eating patterns; feeling big feelings for “Friday Night Lights“; and Yoda trains Pokemon.

Show #120: The Puppies Were Saved

Now, by popular demand, we’ve recorded several of the songs and music cues we wrote for the adventure, and are making them available to YOU, the D&D/Penny Arcade-related-music-hungry public!

• “These Four Men” – Zeppelin-esque adventure theme, with more than a dash of Tenacious D. Even if you have no idea what we’re singing about, this will be your NEW FAVORITE SONG!
• “Critical Hit” – jaunty victory song to accompany the choicest attacks!
• “Jim Darkmagic” – so ominous, it’ll give you nightmares for a fortnight!
• “Don’t Blow the Daily” – self-explanatory!
• “Critical Fail” – for when you are a loser!
• “Acquisitions Incorporated Jingle“ - also self-explanatory!
• “Acquisitions Incorporated Jingle II” – ibid.!
• “Oath of Emnity” – sung in its original Eladrian, which is totally not a ridiculous made-up language!

You can buy ‘em all as a bundle for the amazingly low price of $3; the longer songs are also available as singles. All proceeds go to the Encourage Paul and Storm To Write More Crap For RPGs Fund.

All songs are written and performed by Paul and Storm except as noted: drums and kickass organ on “These Four Men” by Brendan Milburn; lyrics to “Oath of Emnity” by Wil Wheaton; extra-spooky high wailing on “Jim Darkmagic” by Marian Call.

This week’s episode: technical difficulties; getting excited about astronaut ice cream; Paul’s extra-cheese calibrations; the joy of Radio Shack, vacuum tubes, and that ozone smell; direct brain image injections; slack-key slidewhistle and other pop music delights; the death of horn sections; the death of dance crazes; freedom to waggle your genitals; and recommending Marian Call, Ernie Cline, and more Breaking Bad.

Show #119: The Alchemy Center

This week’s episode: Storm is now a homebody; The Militant Assholes; much talk of candy—old-people vs. young-people candy, adult appreciation of said candy, and parental withholding of if; our long-lost fake Bennigans-style restaurant; the Special Dark Brotherhood, and the awfulness of white chocolate; our impending Acquisitions Inc. recordings; Storm harps on space exploration; “Breaking Bad” and “Downton Abbey”; Paul’s technical issues (for once); homemade vs. store-bought Halloween costumes, and Storm’s epic Fonzie costume; and dueling Grouchos.

Post-show song: “Critical Hit”, Paul and Storm

Show #118: He-e-y! The Fonz

In honor of the one day each year when geeks of every stripe lift their voices together and assault their families, co-workers, barristas, and other landlubbers with a hail of “arrrrr”s, we’re once again offering our pirate anthem “The Captain’s Wife’s Lament” as a FREE DOWNLOAD.

Or, if you’d prefer, we can tell ye that YE MUST PAY FOR ALL OUR MUSIC, OR ELSE, and then go ahead and do what ye must.

The Captain’s Wife’s Lament (Right-click and choose “Save file as…” blah blah blah)

You can also enjoy the excellent WoW-animated video for the song, courtesy of Spiff…

Now you can sing and play along on “Nugget Man” and “Fuzzy Man (Fuzzy Nation)” on Rock Band for the Xbox 360. Neato!

As soon as you are fully prepared to rock, click on the links below for information and to purchase…

Nugget Man

Fuzzy Man (Fuzzy Nation)

This week’s episode: a special episode, recorded LIVE at Dragon*Con 2011, with special guest Jonathan Coulton. We discuss Jonathan’s new album and songwriting process at length; the absence of monkeys; puzzles vs. mysteries; pervasive sadness; writing for and with bands; a new manner of public shaming audience miscreants; musical influences; background music; terrible sights we’ve seen and the retelling of the Madison Kitten Rescue; flavored chips; whither w00tstock; and the Planet Money story.

Big thanks to Swoopy for running the room, and to Ken Plume and Widgett Walls for putting together our whole Dragon*Con experience!

Show #117: That’s One…

And now, we realign our sights for another weekend of fun nerd-conventioning: Dragon*Con. Here is our planned schedule:

Friday, Sept. 2
1 pm – Geek-a-Week Panel – Hyatt, Regency VI-VII
Hosted by Len Peralta

2:30 pm – Paul and Storm Talk About Some Stuff for Five to Ten Minutes (On Average), LIVE! – Hilton, Room 204
A live recording of our podcast, with special guest Jonathan Coulton (and possibly other folks, depending on what incriminating photos we can gather between now and then)

8:30 pm – Variety Playhouse
Concert at our favorite Atlanta venue, with Jonathan Coulton and his band (it’s also a release party for his new CD, Artificial Heart). NOTE: This show is not associated with Dragon*Con, you must buy tickets for it like a non-badge holding mortal.

Saturday,  Sept. 3rd
During the day-ish – we’ll be selling and signing at our merch table at some point on Saturday; details and location TBA (check our Twitter feed at @paulandstorm for updates)

4:30 pm (-ish) – Parsec Awards Ceremony – Hyatt, Regency V
We’re presenting an award at the Parsec Awards Ceremony (which honor speculative fiction podcasting). Come see who we’ll be wearing!

8:30 pm – Gonzoroo (concert) – Marriott, Atrium Ballroom
An official Dragon*Con concert this time, again with us and Jonathan Coulton and many special, surprise guests. Hosted by the inimitable Ken Plume and Widgett Walls. There will be merch sales immediately following this show as well, somewhere right near the Atrium Ballroom. (Location TBA)

Sunday, Sept. 4th
During the day-ish – more merch sales. Twitter for updates, blah blah blah. UPDATE: Our table is on the Marquis floor of the Marriott; we will be there at roughly 11-12 Sunday morning, and then again around 2 pm Sunday afternoon.

1 pm – FRED Presents Yet Another Panel About Doctor Who – Hyatt, International North
Ken Plume and Glen Oliver host, you guessed it, a panel about Doctor Who. We’re “helping out.” Watch out for low-flying irreverence.

8:30 pm – Gonzo Quiz Show III: BEYOND THUNDERQUIZ – Hyatt, Regency VI-VIII
A celebrity quiz show panel show thingy, hosted by Ken Plume and Widgett Walls. We did this one a few years ago, and it was pretty crazy-nuts.

UPDATE: Mon., Sept. 5th
10 am – Wil Wheaton’s Panel – SHeraton, Grand Ballroom
We’ll be joining Wil Wheaton at his panel (that he refuses to acknowledge is called “Wesley Crusher: Boy Genius”, as he wasn’t consulted), proving musical accompaniment and generally doing the “Dance, Monkeys!” thing.

Will we see you all there? THE CORRECT ANSWER IS “YES.”

*We did not actually soil our pants**.

**As far as you know.

Long live The King.

Elvis Died Today

(click to download, right-click then “Save As…” or however you do it on your particular machine; you should know how to do this by now!)

This week’s episode: we recap our Comic-Con/w00tstock 3.0 experience, including being (temporarily) killed, and being closer than ever to Joss Whedon; sleepaway camp, and the distasteful craft of macrame; we recommend several things—The Pixar Touch, The Star Wars Craft Book, They Might Be Giants’ “Join Us“, and webcomic Bearmageddon; a discussion of the elements that go into the Perfect Photobomb; and things we “missed out on,” which leads to the revelation that neither of us have read any Salinger.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Please respond to the poll below as to whether or not we should read The Catcher in the Rye.

Show #116: Monkey Soup and the Perfect Photobomb

This week’s episode: coming up with good podcast topics (or not); CONvergence debriefing and Storm’s failure to take 1,000 pictures with cosplayers; the introversion of musicians; VY Canis Majoris and fever dreams; Phineas and Ferb is not for stoners; TARDIS vs. DeLorean; and dancing with dragons.

Show #115: Dangerously Close to Actual Content

More precisely, here’s where we’re scheduled to be:

• Friday, July 1
• 7 PM Main Stage – our feature performance
• 9 PM Main Stage with Joseph Scrimshaw and the Comedy of Doom (we’re on doom detail)
• Sunday, July 3
12 Noon at Plaza Four – Crack In The World with Dr. Jim Kakalios (Dr. Jim screens and rips apart the physics of a movie about the earth…um…ripping apart. Once again, we’ll be on doom detail.)

We’ll also post/tweet/FB any other activities we get mixed up with, assuming we’re not too loopy on Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters to operate a keyboard.

ARE YOU A COSPLAYER? If so, know that Storm has bravely/foolishly set a goal of having his picture taken with 1,000 cosplayers over the course of the weekend, to be posted in this handy Flickr Group. And even if you’re not dressed up as Slave Leia, Iron Man, Iron Leia, or any other character, please do say “hi”!

*yes, technically it’s in Bloomington, MN

This week’s episode: we finally get back to podcasting after a lengthy absence, and if our technical difficulties are any indication, we’ve pretty much forgotten how to do it. (Sorry about the audio quality on Storm’s track) Nonetheless, we find time to discuss Cray supercomputers and phones; choosing which animal to be eaten by; sitcoms set in the Sarlacc; our trip to the UK and Amsterdam; the smells of Diagon Alley; ramping up to JoCo Cruise Crazy 2; Storm’s attempt to have his photo taken with 1,000 cosplayers at CONvergence; Paul plots to cosplay as Sherman at Dragon*Con; and our recommendations of two new albums by “Weird Al” Yankovic and Tally Hall. Also: Storm wins gold on Reddit.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: which animal would you choose to be eaten by?

Show #114: Crushes on Muppets

This week’s episode: we say a little bit about JoCo Cruise Crazy II without actually saying anything; squarefoot gardening, specific cleaning, and coming around to enjoying tasks; geek militias; contemplating what constitutes “success;” and reconciling one’s self to Facebook. Also: Paul disses Canadian snacks.

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION ALERT: Are there any tasks/jobs you used to hate, and now enjoy/love?

Show #113: A Little Sweaty

Yes, this is YOUR CHANCE to bring the noise, the funk, the RAWK, the beeping-and-booping, and whatever else you have laying around in your +5 Bag of Tricks to grab some awesome collectible prizes, and approximately 0.025 Wheatons of fame.

Intrigued? Here’s the deal…

• Download the raw tracks from this link right here (the song is 90 bpm)
• Make your own remix; the sky’s the limit, go nuts. HOWEVER, to qualify, the song must be at least 60 seconds long, and must contain at least one recognizable element from the tracks provided. (In other words, you can’t just go write and record your own version)
• E-mail an mp3 of your finished remix to info “at” paulandstorm “dot” com before 11:59 pm EST on Tuesday, June 14th
• We will post all submissions that meet the above criteria on this website, along with a poll for people to vote for their favorite remix
• The remixes will also be judged by the two of us and New York Times bestselling author John Scalzi
• Winner of the Scalzi/P&S judging will receive:
  • personalized, signed copy of Fuzzy Nation from John Scalzi, as well as signed copies of other John Scalzi books (to be named later)
  • random selection of signed Paul and Storm merchandise
  • John Scalzi’s voice on your answering machine/voicemail
• Winner of the “popular vote” will receive:
  • personalized, signed copy of Fuzzy Nation from John Scalzi
  • random selection of signed Paul and Storm merchandise
  • a six-second custom song written about them and recorded by Paul and Storm
  • NOTE: if the same song wins both categories, then that person gets their choice of prize package, and the second place winner of the unselected category will receive the other prize package

I know, right? So fire up your AwesomeTron 8000 and get to remixing, already!

Well, DUH!

We’ve been dying to tell people about it for nearly six months, and at long last we’re proud to present “Fuzzy Man (Fuzzy Nation)“, a song of such epic proportions that it could very well usher in a new golden age for overwrought, bombastic, emotionally-charged rock power ballads.

You have several options for your consumption of this wonderful, wonderful song: you can purchase it (our personal favorite choice), read it, watch it, or just listen to it (see player below). Pick one or several:

UPDATE: Also now available in various lossless/audio-nerd-friendly formats.

…and most certainly go treat yourself to a copy of Fuzzy Nation in the preferred media delivery system of your choice: hardback, ebook, and audiobook (read by WIL WHEATON (!)) are all available.

Mega-ton thanks to the star-addled cast of musicians who helped turn our rock anthem way past eleven:

Dave Hill – solo electric guitar
Scotty Lund – drums

and featuring the Heartwing Voices:
Sean Altman
Mike Lombardo
Kevin Murphy

And special kudos to Len Peralta for the “Fuzzy Man (Fuzzy Nation)” single cover art, which we look forward to having projected on a massive screen behind us as we collect our first Grammy.

This week’s episode: we are joined by bestselling sci-fi author John Scalzi for a chat about his new book Fuzzy Nation, for which we were commissioned to write the official power ballad. We also discuss: the rigors of touring; boiled leather; riding coattails; grafting songs onto movies; questions that suck; counterintuitive publishing practices; and Master Blaster and hastily-made headshots.

Post-show song: “Fuzzy Man (Fuzzy Nation)”, Paul and Storm

Show #112: Boiled Leather, Scrimshaw and Heartwings