The question is, what song(s) should be there? We can’t put them all up—that would take too long, and several of them are not very good. And some songs, while fun, are not very “Rock Band”-able. (For example, “The Captain’s Wife’s Lament” and “Nun Fight“, while a blast, are mostly just vocals, making things very boring for the people playing bass and drums)

So we turn to you, dear readers: please take a minute to look at the following poll. We’ve chosen a few of what we think are our most RB-friendly songs; let us know which (if any) you’d like to see on the Rock Band Network. Or feel free to suggest other songs. (Only ones we’ve written, please)

UPDATE: Please note, “Opening Band” is already available on Rock Band.

So I turn 40 tomorrow. (Hooray for me.) As it turns out, my devious (read: wonderful) wife planned a surprise party for me this past weekend. As part of this celebration, my life partner Storm put together this awesome birthday video for me.

While I’m never very good at sincerity, I genuinely wish to thank all our friends who took part, and the many more who couldn’t but sent their well-wishes. (Hey, Hodgman: still waiting on that pen you promised me) If a man must get a year older every 365 days (give or take), this is the way to do it.

And SUPER-THANKS to Storm, who spent a lot of time assembling this thing. Also: watch your back, Swarthy Stage-Left Man; you’re next.

So please enjoy; it’s about 19 minutes long, but well worth your time if you like funny things.

Thanks, everyone!

- P.

(P.S. Trying this new Wordpress 2.9+ “auto-embed” thing; in theory, the video should appear just below this text; let us know if you can’t see it)

Friday, May 7: The Moore Theatre, Seattle, WA – http://bit.ly/w00tseattle
Saturday, May 8: The Aladdin Theater, Portland, OR – http://bit.ly/w00tportland

NOTE: If you wish, you can avoid Ticketmaster extortion surcharges by purchasing tickets at the venue box offices. Contact The Moore and The Aladdin directly for details.

Using three different designs from Uncle Storm’s animated children’s story, “The Five Little Pickles” (artwork by Len Peralta), range of shirt styles and colors is available, including some just…FOR THE LADIES.

Also available as a stylish mug.

You can browse the three options in our CafePress Store, cleverly labelled Option 1, Option 2 and Option 3.

See you tonight, Desert People!

Watch in native Flash (best quality*), or on YouTube (could potentially generate us some revenue).

And of course it’s released under a Creative Commons license, so share the joy!

* HOWEVER: if you have a slow monitor (like Storm does), you may experience some lag if the video window is blown up large.

Check it out below, or click right here. You can also watch the hi-larious behind-the-scenes hijinks. Show business!

The first way involves private detectives, stalking, an ambush and getting arrested. The second, much easier way is to come to one of our upcoming live performances, sit there patiently while we make some noise, and then shake our hands after the show while we sell you some CDs and shirts and crap. This latter path is far more socially acceptable, and is much preferred by us.

And exactly where are we performing during the first half of the new year? Funny you should ask; we have a list right here. As you can see, pretty much all of these dates are with Jonathan Coulton. (The compromising photos we have of him are safely locked away in a vault, until such a time as he refuses to let us perform with him anymore) And they are, as always, subject to change.

Orlando, FL – The Social
Thursday, January 14 at 7 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/3Teu0M
Note: There is no seating at this show, so bring your feet. Avoid service charges by buying at the box office M/W/F, or pay only $1 service charge when you buy at Park Avenue CDs.

St. Petersburg, FL – Nova 535
Friday, January 15 at 8 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/2Zr956

Atlanta, GA – Variety Playhouse
Saturday, January 16 at 8:30 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/1Wfbbo
Note: Service charge only $2.25 when you buy through the venue’s ticket club, or $1 for credit at the box office, or $0 for cash at the box office.

San Francisco, CA – Great American Music Hall
Friday, January 22 at 9 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/3uE2HO
Note: Service charge only $1 at the box office.

San Francisco, CA – Great American Music Hall
Saturday, January 23 at 9 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
SOLD OUT! (NOTE: You might be able to purchase some last-minute tickets at the box office the night of the show, but no promises)

Dallas, TX – Granada Theater
Thursday, February 4 at 7 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/5xUH5E

Austin, TX – Antone’s
Friday, February 5 at 8 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/mhGdL

Houston, TX – Zilkha Hall
Saturday February 6 at 8 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets on sale Friday, January 15

Scottsdale, AZ – Martini Ranch
Thursday February 18 at 7:30 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/83BHEu
Note: Limited GA seating

San Diego, CA – Anthology
Friday February 19 at 7:30 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/8gx5KW

Los Angeles, CA – Largo
Saturday February 20 at 8 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: Call box office at 310-855-0350

Los Angeles, CA – Largo
Sunday February 21 at 8 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: Call box office at 310-855-0350

Vancouver, BC – Rio Theater
Thursday February 25 at 7:30 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/6v7It8

Seattle, WA – Moore Theater
Friday February 26 at 8 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/6q1UIw

Portland, OR – Aladdin Theater
Saturday February 27 at 8 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/6sQSkR

Alexandria, VA – The Birchmere
Friday March 12 at 7:30 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/4TgXNf

Boston, MA – PAX East
Somewhere there in 3/26-3/28
Details TBA
bit.ly/4QUIVa

New York, NY – Highline Ballroom
Friday April 2 at 7 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/83dtU0

New York, NY – Highline Ballroom
Saturday April 3 at 7 PM
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: bit.ly/7ocm6D

In the spirit of the season, please enjoy this song (from our It Might Be Xmas project):

Christmas Eve Eve

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from December 11 until Christmas (that’s the 25th), we’ll release at least one new and COMPLETELY ORIGINAL song, each written in a different TMBG style and exploring the many facets of the holiday season. Visit our special It Might Be Xmas (IMBX) page at Bandcamp.com to listen and download the tunes for FREE (though of course contributions are always welcome, at your discretion on the Bandcamp page).

As we are NOT CHARGING YOU ANY MONEY AT ALL (if you so choose) for any of these songs, we would ask that you please share the files and website with anyone and everyone you think would enjoy it. You can do it, it’s totally legal, because the songs are all written by us and released under a Creative Commons license. (Details on what that means are here; but the short version is that you can freely copy and distribute the songs as long as you’re not making any money doing so)

And because we don’t want a full-on geek riot (or if your reaction is “Huh???”), please see the FAQ after the break if your first reaction is “I hate you I hate you I hate you die die die.”

What in the heck is a They Might Be Giants?
They Might Be Giants (or TMBG, as the kids call them) is an alternative rock band formed by John Flansburgh and John Linnell. They are extremely popular among geeks, nerds and Internet types for their smart, quirky music. For more information, read their Wikipedia page, their website, and/or their own wiki, This Might Be a Wiki.

Why TMBG?
Like Randy Newman, TMBG have been a big influence on us, so they were a natural choice. That, and we’ve always felt that the holidays are made for TMBG.

But I wanted to hear more Randy Newman theme songs
Tuff nuts.

[Song x, some part of song y, or the entire project which we'll designate as z] sounds nothing like TMBG! Charlatans! Frauds!
While we believe these songs will evoke TMBG, we are not The Johns. As such, and even with the possible help of special guests to play instruments that are well beyond our musical capabilities, of course they’re not exactly (or in some cases at all) what The Johns would do.

What do you mean, “at least” one new song?
Depending on how many we can finish between now and December 25th, we may release two (or more!) songs on any given day. It’s like a little mystery! Jinkies, gang!

We humbly present our contribution to the holiday song œuvre: “Grandma’s Christmas Dinner“. (Full disclosure: we’ve had this song written for over a year, and have performed it occasionally live, but never got around to recording it until now. Sue us.) Prepare your cockles for warming and your nose for Jack Frost-nippage, as we evoke a wintry land of wonder and family…

This song is kinda NSFW. (Depending on where you work, of course) But if you enjoy it, and don’t get fired, feel free to purchase the song here.

Grandma’s Christmas Dinner

But on the chance that they’re here to stay, we should be making money from them, too. And so we present Part 1 of “Emily and the Really Sexy Vampyre“, and operators are standing by to receive bids for the movie rights.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

UPDATE: Part 7 now available

The Way-Too-Early Christmas Song (Right-click and choose “Save file as…” or however the heck you do it on your computer)

Way-Too-Early Christmas Monster art by Len Peralta.

Get five spooky songs—Cruel, Cruel Moon; Live; Lame Monster Party; Here Come the Dinosaurs; and The Way-Too-Early Christmas Song—for the low, low price of $2. (NOTE: Yes, The Way-Too-Early Christmas Song isn’t really “spooky,” per se; but it’s Halloween-themed, so shut up)

Be the envy of all your Halloween Super-Fun Pack-less friends, and get more than a rock this All Hallow’s Eve!

Wed., December 9 – 7 pm
Music Hall of Williamsburg – Brooklyn, NY
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: http://bit.ly/4EoGwL

Next: as we recently announced on Twitter, our show in Chicago next week (October 10 @ Park West) will now also be a Flood show. What is a “Flood” show, you ask? You can read Jonathan’s announcement for full details, but the quick version is this: geek icon band They Might Be Giants is performing in Chicago the same night we are, and they are performing their album Flood in its entirety. And now, we’re going to do the same thing. Why? Because it’s there. So now, we’ll be performing somewhat truncated sets of our own music, we’ll take a break, and then do all 19 tracks from Flood. Heck, we’ve got a whole week to learn them all, and we already know one; no sweat, right?

Finally, here’s a few other cool things we’ve been meaning to mention for a while:

• “Opening Band” is now available for Rock Band as an officially-released downloadable, playable song for XBox 360 and PS3. (Sorry, Wii-ers!) Now you can be us, right down to the 34-second last note!
• Our friend Spiff’s video for “Cruel Cruel Moon” took second place in Blizzcon’s Machinima contest. Good on you, Spiff!
• Here’s a video for “Live” made in Little Big Planet (via fan Nikolas)

We’re sure there’s other stuff we’re forgetting, but that’ll do for now.

Also, in honor of our friends across the pond, we shall list these dates in the backward European style, with the day before the month. Glasnost!

Fri, 6 Nov: Dublin
Mon, 9 Nov: Edinburgh
Tue, 10 Nov: Glasgow
Thu, 12 Nov: Manchester – Manchester Academy 3
Fri, 13 Nov: London – Union Chapel
Sun, 15 Nov: Bristol

In honor of the one day each year when geeks of every stripe lift their voices together and assault their families, co-workers, barristas, and other landlubbers with a hail of “arrrrr”s, we’re offering our pirate anthem “The Captain’s Wife’s Lament” as a FREE DOWNLOAD.

Or, if you’d prefer, we can tell ye that YE MUST PAY FOR ALL OUR MUSIC, OR ELSE, and then go ahead and do what ye must.

The Captain’s Wife’s Lament (Right-click and choose “Save file as…” or however the heck you do it on your computer)

UPDATE: You can also enjoy the excellent WoW-animated video for the song, courtesy of Spiff…

Thurs.-Fri., September 17-18 – Thurs. 8 pm, Fri. 9 pm
Soiled Dove Underground – Denver, CO
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: Thurs. – http://bit.ly/r3dm7
Fri. – http://bit.ly/6nkNU

Sat., September 19 – 8 pm
Off Broadway – St. Louis, MO
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: http://bit.ly/vFfhr

Thurs., September 24 – 7 pm
Iron Horse Music Hall – Northampton, MA
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: http://bit.ly/m6sLe

Fri., September 25 – 7 pm
Toad’s Place – New Haven, CT
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: http://bit.ly/dMqhX

Sat., September 26 – 9 pm
The Paradise – Boston, MA
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: http://bit.ly/4FptU3

Thurs. October 8 – 8 pm
The Ark – Ann Arbor, MI
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: http://bit.ly/e0wMl

Sat., October 10 – 8 pm
Park West – Chicago, IL
with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: http://bit.ly/G6Dbz

Fri. October 16 – 8 pm
Nightcat – Easton, MD
Tickets: http://bit.ly/mFEWZ

JoCoPaStoMania! It’s totally gear. Spread the word; with your support, we could get wider than Jesus!

w00tstock: three hours of geeks and music

v1.0:  Monday, October 19 – Swedish American Hall, San Francisco, CA SOLD OUT!!!
2nd SF show added! v1.0.1:  Tuesday, October 20 – Swedish American Hall, San Francisco, CA
v1.1:  Wednesday, October 21 – Largo, Los Angeles, CA

Click here for complete details

We actually started writing this one over a year ago, but apparently it needed to age like a good cheese or whiskey before we could finally finish it off, and give it the full treatment it deserves. As a side note, Coldplay can suck it.

Many thanks to the super-talented Brendan Milburn for his considerable help on keyboard, bass, strings and drum programming.

This song is probably NSFW. (Depending on where you work, of course) But if you enjoy it, and don’t get fired, feel free to purchase the song here.

I Will Sing a Lullabye

O RLY???

Maybe it’s what not to wear if you still think having a little alligator on your chest is spiffy-keen, or you’re the type who dons a tuxedo before motoring off in your Stutz Bearcat to catch the polo match on a breezy Sunday afternoon, tra-la, tra-la!

But should we meekly bend to the will of Big Fashion? We should say NOT! More importantly, are YOU going to allow this aggression to stand? NO! It’s time to take the Original Famous Fromage t-shirt into the streets! To arms!

What? You don’t HAVE an Original Famous Fromage t-shirt? Procede directly to our CafePress store, where you can suit up in style (also available specially-tailored for the ladies.) Also available at our live performances.

Because the emperor needs new clothes, baby; and naked don’t cut it anymore.

Fromage.

Friday, August 7 – Milkboy Coffee (Ardmore, PA)
9:30 pm
with The Arrogant Worms
tix: http://bit.ly/gMSfF

Friday, August 28 – Jammin’ Java (Vienna, VA)
7 pm
tix: http://bit.ly/aue1L

Have a safe and happy 4th!

Ten-Finger Johnny

(click to download, right-click then “Save As…” or however you do it on your particular machine; you should know how to do this by now!)

To celebrate, and to test our how robust their “cloud hosting” is, we’ve asked a bunch of our popular Twitter friends to have their followers come visit our site all at once at 3 pm (EST). If you’re seeing this post, then we’re still up and running, and hooray for our side.

If not, then some servers in DFW somewhere are smoking and/or on fire.

Thanks, everyone!

As you were…

We started things off in Dallas on Wednesday, May 13, with the first of a three-show stint with Beardy McInternet. Easy enough: good crowd, nice venue, and Mai Tais. Nothing terribly out of the ordinary. (Except for the ASL interpretation, which was quite cool)

Then we did the thing that always guarantees strangeness: we went to California. First stop was San Diego on Thursday (technically, Solana Beach; but we’re not very technical), and a show at the Belly Up Tavern. The crowd was drunker than usual for a Coulton crowd, and especially punchy (but in a good way). Luckily, fan Gl3nn recorded the whole show, and posted it to the youtubes. Also, fans Colleenky and Jade showed their true dedication to their Minionhood with custom Minion sashes and buttons.

The next morning, we gathered in a secret underground bunker recording studio to record a Rifftrax for the movie TRON. (See our previous post for details) While it was somewhat unsettling to be recording snarky comments about a movie right in front of three of the guys who perfected the art form, we muddled through and celebrated with a lunch of staggering proportions, and a “standing around in the office lobby” picture (see right).

Working our way north (and further up the weirdness scale) we found ourselves in L.A. and right in the heart of a geek-cred vortex. Several vortices, actually, the first of which occurred when we met up with Adam “@lonelysandwich” Lisagor (“You Look Nice Today” podcast) and Jesse Thorn (host of “The Sound of Young America” and noted hater of shorts) and their significant others for the Friday night concert by Jon Brion at Largo. (He plays there pretty much every Friday) We were not adequately prepared for the degree of awesomeness and talent displayed, and all left the show despondent and filled with feelings of inadequacy; in other words, we had a great time.

Then, on Saturday, Kim Evey (co-producer of “The Guild” and star of “Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show“) hosted a house party with us, Jonathan, Adam, and half the cast of “The Guild”, including Felicia Day, Sandeep Parikh and Jeff Lewis, plus new media mega-agent George Ruiz. And what happened at the party? Rock Band, of course, courtesy of Ms. Day.

But wait, there’s more! Did we mention we did a show while in L.A.? And that it was at fabled venue Largo? (The place we talked about two paragraphs back?) And that Wil Wheaton introduced the show in his capacity as the Obama Administration’s Secretary of Geek Affairs (pending Senate confirmation)? And that the talented and adorable @Molly23 Lewis (sweetafton23) sat in with us during Jonathan’s set? And that five minutes into our own set there was a FRICKIN’ EARTHQUAKE that we didn’t even notice because we were rocking so hard?

It doesn’t get any better than that, does it? Well, yes, actually. It does. “Weird Al” Yankovic and his wife came for the show, and they were gracious enough to come and say “hi” afterwards (see pic at beginning of post), even though the risk of being trampled by an entire theater’s worth of adoring fans increased with every minute he stayed on the premises. Add to that an after-show hang that included (in addition to most of the previous night’s revelers) Jordan Morris (“Jordan Jesse Go!” podcast), Austin Tichenor (from the Reduced Shakespeare Company), and our good (and super-twisted-funny) friend Eric Schwartz, and you have a mighty overwhelming evening that pretty much shut down the internets for a few hours.

So we went home for half a week to reboot, then went right back out again, this time to the wilds of Illinois for two shows with our longtime friend comedian Dan St. Paul. Our first stop, on Thursday, May 21, was at the Jukebox Comedy Club in Peoria. While there, we had a nice interview with Adam Harris for the Stand-Up Chronicles podcast.

After a day off on Friday (during which we went to see the diverting but aggressively mediocre Terminator Salvation), we finished up with a show in Galesburg, Il at the lovely (and historic!) Orpheum Theatre. To get us in the proper historic mood, we spent some time during the day visiting the Carl Sandburg Historic Site. Finally, we staggered home (undoubtedly on little cat feet), road-weary but pound-foolish. (Or something; kinda lost the handle on that saying halfway through)

In summary: wow. And thanks.

(“What is Rifftrax?” you ask? Well, it’s where some folks—us in this case, but usually “Mystery Science Theater 3000” alums Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett—record snarky comments about a movie as an alternate audio track, which you then sync up while watching the movie; and hilarity ensues)

Mother’s Day Song
(click to download, right-click then “Save As…” or however you do it on your particular machine; you should know how to do this by now!)

Available in the original suave 70’s green-on-green, as well as a variety of other far-out color schemes. Visit our CafePress store to see all of the options (including thongs).

Shirt Origins (for those who haven’t listened to the podcast): When Storm’s older sister got braces, their parents got her a “Tin Gins are In” t-shirt to cushion the blow. Not wanting to leave young Storm empty-handed, they thoughtfully devised the garment you see here, as he had recently joined the ranks of the four-eyed. (To find out how it all worked out, you’ll just have to suck it up and listen to the podcast.)

Yet here it is. We hope you enjoy “Here Come the Dinosaurs“, and if you can explain to the class what it means, feel free to share! Credits appear below the break.

All music, Flash animation, and start-motion handimation by Paul and Storm

Grumpy Cat played by Reinhold McPhee-DiCostanzo*

Gertie the Dinosaur (cartoon video clip) by Winsor McCay (1914, public domain)

Public domain images:

Skull by Silsor http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Skull_and_crossbones.svg

Coloring book Tyrannosaurus, Triceratops and Pterodactyl from http://karenswhimsy.com/public-domain-images

Super-scary dino & building by Laura Scudder http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Senckenberg_mit_Dino.jpg

Car http://www.freeclipartnow.com/transportation/cars/car-Acura.jpg.html

Ceratosaurus by Joesph Smit http://www.copyrightexpired.com/earlyimage/prehistoriclifebeforekt/ceratosaurus_cood_1894_smit_1929.html

Subway station by  Daniel Schwen http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:NYC_Wall_St_station.jpg

Iguanadon by Alice B. Woodward http://www.copyrightexpired.com/earlyimage/prehistoriclifebeforekt/iguanodon_iln_1895_woodward_1951.html

Basketball game by Greg Ma http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Monta_Ellis_dunking.jpg

Basketball by Reisio http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Basketball.png

Special thanks to Mike “Spiff” Booth and Jonathan Coulton for technical assistance

* Mr. R was not harmed during the filming of this video. In fact, he was fed treats.

This song is our entry for the final match of the current round of the Masters of Song Fu songwriting competition. Our task this time around was to “craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within [our] final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole.”

To answer the call, we dug deep within our souls…and found an arcade in 1981, apparently. But then we realized that the video game Frogger contains all the elements of a great narrative; all it needed was someone with the guts, someone with the inspiration, someone with an assignment to write a song and a rapidly approaching deadline. That someone was us.

In any event, please enjoy our latest epic; and when you’re done listening, please go vote for your favorite. (We’re up against the talented and terminally adorable ukuletrix Molly in this final round, so it should be a hard-fought battle)

Frogger! The Frogger Musical

…and from M&Ms back in the 1980s…

Wednesday April 8 at 8 pm
Diamond Jo Casino (Dubuque, IA)
Tickets available at door

Thursday April 9 at 7:30 pm
4th Street Theatre (Des Moines, IA)
Tickets available at door or call (515) 288-5282

Friday April 10 at 8 pm
Penguins Comedy Club (Cedar Rapids, IA)
Tickets: tinyurl.com/adxj62

Saturday April 11 at 7:30 pm & 10 pm
Penguins Comedy Club (Cedar Rapids, IA)
Tickets: 7:30 – tinyurl.com/cl8f2v; 10 – tinyurl.com/bfvs8l

So tremendous, in fact, that we feel compelled to monetize share it with everyone, in the form of t-shirts, mugs, mouse pads, buttons, magnets, thongs, and whatever else we can think of slapping it onto.

That’s right…now available in our CafePress store: The Department of Geek Affairs product line! T-shirt styles and colors abound, many in both “full-size logo” and “pocket logo” options. Show your support for the one government department that addresses your needs and concerns*! Go, browse, purchase; then you, too, can rightfully claim: “I came, I saw, I bought the tote bag.”

*Department of Geek Affairs is not yet recognized by the Obama Administration.

After a long campaign against the best and brightest geek luminaries, Wil Wheaton has emerged as the people’s choice to hold the office of the (yet to be officially recognized) Secretary of Geek Affairs.

Nearly 90,000 total votes were cast in determining the Geek Madness Tournament outcome, and Mr. Wheaton vanquished an impressive list of geek luminaries on his march to victory: Bruce Campbell, Wesley Crusher, Stephen Hawking, Steve Wozniak, Gabe & Tycho (Penny Arcade), and Joss Whedon.

Learn more about your new Secretary from his wikipedia entry, and from the man himself at his site. Click on the Department of Geek Affairs emblem (above right, created by the entirely excellent Len Peralta) for a full-size version.

“There’s a hole in the English language: how to greet people when it’s exactly noon. Good Noon? Hi, Noon? G’Nooner?”

…has blossomed into a gripping intellectual exercise. So we’ve extracted some of the best suggestions from the dozens of @ replies and put them into a poll to settle the matter once and for all (maybe):

[poll id=89]

For starters, we’re forming a new cover band with Jonathan Coulton; we fully expect this new project to be our full-time musical endeavor withing the next several months…

Even more momentous than that, however, is our inevitable segue into the world of feature films. We enlisted a close personal friend of ours to help us realize our long-gestating vision. Thus, we bring you the teaser trailer for our upcoming animated blockbuster, PaulandStormaline:

Friday March 13 at 8 pm
House of Blues (Houston, TX) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/cxdf8s

Sunday March 15 at 7 pm
Antone’s (Austin, TX) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/ama6l7
(This is not an official part of SXSW, you must buy tickets to attend)

Friday March 20 at 7 pm
State Theatre (Bay City, MI) with Tim Bedore
Tickets: tinyurl.com/cokx4o

Friday March 27 at 8 pm
Symphony Space (New York, NY) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/dkzjoe

Wednesday April 8
Dubuque, IA
More info TBA

Thursday April 9
4th Street Theatre (Des Moines, IA)
More info TBA

Friday April 10 at 8 pm
Penguins Comedy Club (Cedar Rapids, IA)
Tickets: tinyurl.com/adxj62

Saturday April 11 at 7:30 pm & 10 pm
Penguins Comedy Club (Cedar Rapids, IA)
Tickets: 7:30 – tinyurl.com/ancgun; 10 – tinyurl.com/bfvs8l

Friday April 17 at 8 pm
Tanners Grill and Bar (Kimberly, WI) with Sean Morey
Tickets available at door

Thursday April 23 at 8 pm
Lula Lounge (Toronto, ON) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/czz9sn

Friday April 24 at 7:30 pm
Lula Lounge (Toronto, ON) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/bxr6lb

You answered the call in droves (specifically, 62 of you; how many droves in 62?), and carried out the mission with the determination, guile, and creativity that is the hallmark of the Paul & Storm Brigade of Minions.

- You went forth and found or created a cheesy digital greeting card
- You deciphered the totally intentional riddle to guess Paul’s e-mail address
- You sent your card to Paul, cunningly signing it as “Joss Whedon”*

Some highlights from this wicked, dastardly task:

• This one
• Oh, and this one
• And who could forget this one?

All participating Minions should have been credited by now with a special citation, which appears as “COMMENDATION: Operation Blue Mountain” under their pictures in the Brigade of Minions flickr group. If you did not receive credit, you can stake your claim by writing us at “info at paulandstorm.com” (and in this way, we will also have your e-mail address for future missions); make sure to include your Minion name. If you claim credit and did not participate, we will know. We do not need to tell you that the penalty for Minion Fraud is painful and will be exacted WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

Not a certified Minion yet? Want to be part of future world domination plans that Minions often characterize as “fun”? Here’s the key.

* Our esteem in no way indicates a preference for Joss Whedon in regards to Geek Madness, pro or con. We also love and admire Wil Wheaton and appreciate all that he does for the geek community. Either will make a splendid Secretary of Geek Affairs.

So congratulations to Jerry and Mike for a well-deserved “good on ya!”

All results to-date are on the main Geek Madness page.

Review all the matchups and go vote, after the break.

MATCH #1:

Kaylee Frye vs. Joss Whedon

Battle for the Whedon Crown

Kaylee Frye: Character, Joss Whedon’s TV series “Firefly” and film Serenity; ship’s mechanic.
Notes: Prototypical geek girl who has a great love of and intuitive talent with technology; feminine without being entirely “girly;” only partially aware of how stupefyingly attractive she is. Defeated The Professor in Round 1 and Tricia “Trillian” McMillan in Round 2,  Steve Jobs in the Geek 16 and Simon Pegg in the Reasonable 8.

Joss Whedon: Writer/producer/director; creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (film/TV), “Angel” (TV) “Firefly”/Serenity (TV/film) and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (interwebs)
Notes: Has strong track record of creating television shows marked by clever dialogue, smart and interesting characters, fantastical elements, and extremely short lifespans; ridiculously devoted following; as if geek cred wasn’t strong enough, was one of the co-writers of Toy Story. Defeated Ken Plume in Round 1, Doctor WhoJonathan Coulton in the Geek 16 and Felicia Day in the Reasonable 8.

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MATCH #2

Wil Wheaton vs. Gabe & Tycho

Battle of the Online Touchstone Titans

Gabe & Tycho: Webcomic alter egos of Penny Arcade writers/creators Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik
Notes: Multiple weekly strips are a touchstone of gaming and gamer culture. Characters also help promote the PAX gaming festival and Child’s Play charitable effort. Defeated Sarah Vowell in Round 1, Alton Brown in Round 2 and Douglas Adams in the Geek 16 and John Hodgman in the Reasonable 8.

Wil Wheaton: Writer, actor; blogging pioneer; most widely known for roles as Wesley Crusher (Star Trek TNG) and Gordie LaChance in Stand By Me.
Notes: Parlayed his much-maligned portrayal of Wesley Crusher into a multi-platform second career; blog/website is a hub for geek discourse; poker player and fan; has his own tag on Fark.com. Defeated Bruce Campbell in Round 1, Wesley Crusher in Round 2 and Stephen Hawking in the Geek 16 and Steve Wozniak in the Reasonable 8.

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His assistant familiar true boss Lorraine wrote all about the visit in a manner befitting the setting.

Let’s just say…well, that the visit didn’t end the way we had planned; but probably how we should have expected…

All results to-date are on the main Geek Madness page.

Review all the matchups and go vote, after the break.

MATCH #1:

Simon Pegg vs. Kaylee Frye

“Spaced” star, or Star in space?

Simon Pegg: Actor/writer; co-creator/star, “Spaced“, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz.
Notes: Portraying “Scotty” in upcoming Star Trek reboot; staunch opponent of Star Wars prequel trilogy; no danger of influence from powerful zombie special interest groups. Defeated Peter Parker in Round 1, Linus Torvalds in Round 2, and Randall Munroe in the Geek 16.

Kaylee Frye: Character, Joss Whedon’s TV series “Firefly” and film Serenity; ship’s mechanic.
Notes: Prototypical geek girl who has a great love of and intuitive talent with technology; feminine without being entirely “girly;” only partially aware of how stupefyingly attractive she is. Defeated The Professor in Round 1 and Tricia “Trillian” McMillan in Round 2, and Steve Jobs in the Geek 16.

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MATCH #2

John Hodgman vs. Gabe & Tycho

Pretend expert, or Pretend gamers?

John Hodgman: Author (The Areas of My Expertise; More Information Than You Require); actor/TV personality (“PC” in long-running Apple Computer Mac ads; “The Daily Show“).
Notes: Bookish, likable manner and quirky, tweedy humor have made him a major breakout minor celebrity, crossing over beyond geek circles; near-ubiquity in 2007 and 2008 could lead to “Dude, you’re getting a Dell”-style backlash. Defeated Ben Stein in Round 1 and Spock in Round 2 and They Might Be Giants in the Geek 16.

Gabe & Tycho: Webcomic alter egos of Penny Arcade writers/creators Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik
Notes: Multiple weekly strips are a touchstone of gaming and gamer culture. Characters also help promote the PAX gaming festival and Child’s Play charitable effort. Defeated Sarah Vowell in Round 1, Alton Brown in Round 2 and Douglas Adams in the Geek 16.

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MATCH #3

Wil Wheaton vs. Steve Wozniak

Multi-platform phenom, or Innovative, good-natured billionaire?

Wil Wheaton: Writer, actor; blogging pioneer; most widely known for roles as Wesley Crusher (Star Trek TNG) and Gordie LaChance in Stand By Me.
Notes: Parlayed his much-maligned portrayal of Wesley Crusher into a multi-platform second career; blog/website is a hub for geek discourse; poker player and fan; has his own tag on Fark.com. Defeated Bruce Campbell in Round 1, Wesley Crusher in Round 2 and Stephen Hawking in the Geek 16.

Steve Wozniak: Co-founder of Apple Computer.
Notes: One of the original Geeks Who Made It Big. Engaging personality and contributions to the early development of the personal computer more likely to elicit shouts of “Good on ya!” than sour, jealous comments. Defeated Ira Glass in Round 1, Dr. Carl Sagan in Round 2, and Veronica Belmont in the Geek 16.

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MATCH #4

Joss Whedon vs. Felicia Day

Creator of popular fantasies for geeks or Popular geek fantasy?

Joss Whedon: Writer/producer/director; creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (film/TV), “Angel” (TV) “Firefly”/Serenity (TV/film) and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (interwebs)
Notes: Has strong track record of creating television shows marked by clever dialogue, smart and interesting characters, fantastical elements, and extremely short lifespans; ridiculously devoted following; as if geek cred wasn’t strong enough, was one of the co-writers of Toy Story. Defeated Ken Plume in Round 1, Doctor WhoJonathan Coulton in the Geek 16. in Round 2 and

Felicia Day: Actress/creator/writer of geek-centric internet show “The Guild“; broadened recognition with role in Joss Whedon’s Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.
Notes: A genuine gaming enthusiast (not some Hollywood pretender) whose geek profile exploded in 2008; a genuine grass roots new media success story of a “homemade” internet show that, offered for free on YouTube, garnered a large following and eventual media sponsorship that manages to maintain a geek-friendly distribution model; also an accomplished violinist; has noticed us. Defeated Ernie Kovacs in Round 1, Tom Servo & Crow T. Robot in Round 2 and Stan Lee in the Geek 16.

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In honor of President’s Day, we learned just enough Flash to put together a little celebratory geegaw, “Founding Fathers”, that we hope will entertain you for at least 20-30 seconds. The less we say about it the better, but know that there is no “end” to this interactive thing that is not exactly a game; it will run until you close it.

Would our nation’s forebears approve? It would be folly to try and divine their inner deliberations. With the exception of Ben Franklin…he’d have thought it was a hoot.

In addition to the two-hundred-thirty-odd years of history and countless social and technological advancements that made this digital toy possible, we’d like to thank a few other folks; please see the credits below the break.

Mike “Spiff” Booth – Technology platforms

Independence Hall (photo) by Steve and Sara

“Yankee Doodle” by American Originals Fife and Drum Corps, Inc.
http://www.americanoriginals.org/

Drum Roll by Heigh Ho

http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=19433

Bonk Sound by Patchen

http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=4138

@aforgottentune @jonschwartz @HellZiggy and @MitchO @thomasls for Twitter-related services rendered

Here’s a twofer for you…as has been mentioned elsewhere, the third iteration of the Masters of Song Fu competition has started, and we are once again competing as “masters”—this time alongside fellow novelty duo Garfunkel and Oates (who are, we admit it, far cuter than we), and former Rutle/Python collaborator/Bonzo Dog Band member and British person Neil Innes. There’s also a flurry of “challengers” vying for the title.

In this first round, our task was to “write a happy song.” We had a solid idea for most of the week, but it just wasn’t forming quickly enough. (It’s still a solid idea, and will most likely get completed; we just need to take our time with it so it doesn’t collapse, much like a souffle) So with about 28 hours before the deadline, we started from scratch.

Short gestation period or no, we’re quite pleased with the result:

Hippie with a Djembe

Your task now is to go vote—but don’t just vote blindly for us because you love us; listen to all the songs and vote for your true favorite. Many of the challengers did yeoman’s work as well; it’s gonna be a fun competition…

Here’s the “two” part of the twofer: many of you are aware of our “25 Days of Newman” project from this past December. Those of you without the stamina to slog through all 25 songs, however, may not have realized that our final song broke the worn-into-the-ground pattern, and was in fact a “real” new song. As such, we present it here, six weeks later and well past its freshness date, in all its change-of-pace-ness (listen to it and you’ll see what we mean):

Better Off Dead (Randy Newman’s “Theme from ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’”)

Friday, February 13 at 8 pm
Comfort Suites Hotel (Burlington, IA with Henry Phillips
Tickets: tinyurl.com/bl96ar

Saturday, February 14 at 8 pm
Best Western Hotel & Convention Center (Clear Lake, IA) with Henry Phillips
Tickets available at door

Friday February 20 at 7:30 PM
The Birchmere (Alexandria, VA) with Jonathan Coulton
SOLD OUT! (A few last-minute tix may be available at the box office that night, though we can’t promise anything)

Saturday, February 21 at 8 pm
Rams Head Tavern (Annapolis, MD) with Jonathan Coulton
SOLD OUT! (See above re: last-minute tix)

Thursday, February 26 at 7:30 pm
Barrymore Theater (Madison, WI) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/86lw3z

Friday, February 27 at 8 pm
History Theater (St. Paul, MN) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/c9rt56

Saturday, February 28 at 8 pm
Park West (Chicago, IL) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: tinyurl.com/8n3glh

Friday, March 6 at 8 pm
The Ark (Ann Arbor, MI) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets: theark.org/1948.html

Friday, March 13 at 8 pm
House of Blues (Houston, TX) with Jonathan Coulton
Tickets on sale Feb. 13

Friday, March 20 at 7 pm
State Theatre (Bay City, MI) with Tim Bedore
Tickets: tinyurl.com/cokx4o

Review all the matchups and go vote, after the break.

click for larger image

MATCH #1:

Wil Wheaton vs. Wesley Crusher

Wil Wheaton: Writer, actor; blogging pioneer; most widely known for roles as Wesley Crusher (Star Trek TNG) and Gordie LaChance in Stand By Me.
Notes: Parlayed his much-maligned portrayal of Wesley Crusher into a multi-platform second career; blog/website is a hub for geek discourse; poker player and fan; has his own tag on Fark.com. Defeated Bruce Campbell in Round 1.

Wesley Crusher: Teenage Star Trek TNG character portrayed by Wil Wheaton.
Notes: Despite being a minor, substantively contributed to mission of the USS Enterprise; smarter than his years would normally indicate; left Enterprise to literally travel to alternate planes of reality; seemingly universally disliked by hardcore Star Trek fanbase. Defeated Dilton Doiley in Round 1.

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MATCH #2

Stephen Hawking vs. MC Frontalot

Stephen Hawking: Theoretical physicist and Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge.
Notes: Best-selling book A Brief History of Time brought advanced cosmology and mathematics to the masses. Masses might learn a thing or two if they actually dusted it off and read it. Defeated Cory Doctorow in Round 1.

MC Frontalot: Rap artist; originator of term “nerdcore.”
Notes: Rapper laureate for webcomic Penny Arcade, and regular performer at PAX; not the originator of the nerdcore genre, but certainly one of its brightest stars. Defeated Merlin Mann in Round 1.

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MATCH #3

Steve Wozniak vs. Dr. Carl Sagan

Steve Wozniak: Co-founder of Apple Computer.
Notes: One of the original Geeks Who Made It Big. Engaging personality and contributions to the early development of the personal computer more likely to elicit shouts of “Good on ya!” than sour, jealous comments. Defeated Ira Glass in Round 1.

Dr. Carl Sagan: Astronomer, scientist, and author widely known from PBS series Cosmos: A Personal Voyage, novel Contact and other works.
Notes: Brought traditionally nerdy interests to billions and billions (well…certainly millions). Champion of the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI). Involved with the U.S. space program since its inception. Hard core. Defeated Hermione Granger in Round 1.

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MATCH #4

Jamie & Adam vs. Veronica Belmont

Jamie Hyneman & Adam Savage: Techno-savvy special effects gurus and hosts of “Mythbusters” on the Discovery Channel.
Notes: Scientific approach to proving/debunking urban and pop culture myths is unabashedly geeky; represent the traditional duality within all geeks of methodical study and over-excitement at blowing shit up. Defeated Penn & Teller in Round 1.

Veronica Belmont: Internet personality; co-host of Tekzilla podcast and Qore (Playstation3).
Notes: Strong credentials with stints at CNET and former host of Mahalo Daily; 40,000+ Twitter followers can’t be wrong; “hot chick” factor cannot be discounted, may help get agenda passed by old-boy network in Congress. Defeated Professor Frink in Round 1.

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